Learning from my toddler

This morning I sat down at my computer to write a blog. I really didn't have anything specific in mind just yet. A few ideas here and there. I sat down to see if I could make something happen on the screen when my little one had a complete and total meltdown. Apparently, sitting on mommy's lap eating crackers and watching The Fantastic Mr. Fox while mommy blogged was just not going to cut it this morning. He needed mom's full attention. And honestly, I needed his as well. So we played. Had a good breakfast. Gave him a bath. And made funny faces. It was a wonderful morning.

I admire Cormac for his knowledge of exactly what he needs. This isn't always the case. And he isn't always able to communicate those needs, but he seems pretty direct. Some days he can play on his own. Others he needs more love and interaction. Some days he doesn't want to eat much, others he does. The poor little man is trying to grow in some molars right now. If you were growing molars you might just need some extra love from your mom too. He is just so in tune with his needs. 

It makes me wonder why and how we ever become detached. I got the following comment from my aunt yesterday (I have the most awesome aunts):

"I always love your blogs. You always make me think. I find it interesting that we don't have time to have our bodies get sick. Been there, done that! Who is this "we"? Our spirits? Perhaps the goal should be to get our spirits and bodies more in tune with each other. Then maybe we can heal faster. Great post!!" 

First off thanks for the compliments. It's good for my ego. But I know I'm not the only one that stays separate from my body in a sense. There is me, and then there's my body. Huh? Cormac isn't two, he is one. Shouldn't we all be one?

So often I don't pay attention to what I really need. I'm too busy doing this, that, or the other. Look at yesterday's post, for example. We've been BUSY around here. So busy that I haven't taken time for exercise or eating really well. I've just been going from one thing to the next. Trying to make sure that I spend some time with Cormac in between everything else.

Last night as I was teaching my first class in the new studio (!) I realized how much my body craves yoga. I needed to do it. It felt so so good to move. In the effort to get a studio I had left behind my personal practice. All the weeks of heavy work have made me sore. What better way to fix it than to do yoga.

Anyway, as I was thinking about things that our bodies crave I came across a fun post from Already Pretty, check it out. What does your body crave and need? Why not take some extra time this weekend to do something nice for your body. And enjoy the beautiful weather (if it is indeed beautiful where you are).

Just a little teaser. This is the back wall of the studio. We still have a lot of work to do, so stay tuned at a later date for before and after pictures.

Aches and pains: They do serve a purpose

"Bringing awareness to your body, to its unique reactions and processes, and to its symptoms and strengths, sets you up for growthful insights. For where you founder--precisely where your system begins to break down--provides a valuable clue to what needs to change in your life. Working from the perspective of this process of discovery permits you to approach a health crisis with curiosity instead of fear, and with optimism instead of disappointment. Sickness and health become a major way you learn from life. Although dysfunction and disease point to what you need to work on, they also hold the seeds of your unfoldment. From this point of view, illness is an opportunity for growth and transformation, while "recovery" is only a return to an obsolete status quo. Authentic healing will often involve radical changes in how you live. Old habits and attitudes that supported the development of disease will fall away, to be replaced by new ones that go with a new way of being in the world." (Radical Healing, Rudolph Ballentine, M.D. pg. 5)

Do you look at every health challenge as a way to transform your life? Do you see it as a wonderful opportunity to get in touch with your body?

I'll admit that I often don't do this. Lately I have been working by the side of my husband day in and day out trying to get my yoga studio in order. The last two weeks I have started to hurt. . . a lot. I suffer from Fibromyalgia, but lately more often than I am able to live a comfortable life with little to no pain most days. But I sure have been hurting the last two weeks.

Instead of listening to my body, and trying to figure out what in my life is causing this sudden flare up I have seen the aches and pains as a hinderance to my life. I mostly feel like I don't have time for this right now. My body needs to just deal on it's own. I have been pushing and pushing so much. With each new day I get a little more sore and a little more run down. But I just feel like I don't have time to stop.

So I was reading (I guess I haven't cut everything out of my life) Radical Healing the other day (yes I read random texts on healing in my spare time) and I came across the quote above. Huh. Then I had a friend ask for advice with her chronic problem. As I was telling her that it was a blessing for her to have this problem so that she could slow down and remember to take care of her own needs I realized that I wasn't taking my own advice.

Our bodies are truly remarkable things. They are capable of so much. But in our busy lives we often take them for granted. We push and push and push. Then when our bodies speak up, "Hey, remember me? You haven't had more than three glasses of water in 3 days. I'm thirsty!" we get annoyed. How dare our bodies get in our way. We have things to do. We do not have time for these sicknesses.

Rather than taking this attitude, our lives would be so much fuller if we were to actually tune in enough to care for our bodies when minor problems arise (and better yet, take care of them before anything arises). Our bodies would reward us by doing more, clueing us in on problems sooner, and by helping us live healthy and pain free every day.

Slow down enough to listen to your body. I'm going to try to do better. Though I still have plenty of work to do I'm going to start listening. My first step will be to address my sleepiness. Early bedtimes tonight and tomorrow. Then I'll reflect more on my food choices and make eating better meals a priority. Lastly exercise. Though I've been painting walls and working every day, I need to do something that makes me feel good instead of sore.

Those are my steps. What are you going to do? For more wonderful ideas on caring for your body look at Medicinal Marzipan. She had an amazing post this week on taking a vacation for our bodies.

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Yoga Studio times and prices

If you are interested in attending a class (here in Lindon, UT) shoot me an email or drop me a comment and I'll get you the location information (I should have been a poet). Classes start tomorrow!

Objectification: no longer gender specific

It seems I hit a nerve last Friday with my discussion of the objectification of women. We all know it happens. We are all tired of it. We all want it to stop.

But here is something that we maybe don't consider as often: objectifying bodies is not limited to women. Instead of getting rid of the problem of turing women into sex symbols the problem is spreading. Men are under increasing pressure to fit an ideal standard as well.

Women are generally pressured to be ridiculously thin. We are portrayed as weak, dependent, thin. Men on the other hand need to be strong, muscular, manly, capable. There is little room for men to be anything else. Varying body types are not looked on with favor in this idealized media world. Neither are varying interests. Men are supposed to be able to fix the sink with their shirt off. No room for a guy who likes to spend his afternoon tucked in a book instead, for example.

Don't really think it's happening in the media to men as well as women? Have you seen the Old Spice ads:

Don't get me wrong, I think this particular group of commercials is hilarious, as I'm sure many of you do, but behind the humor is the objectifying once more.

There has been a recent rise in men with eating disorders, and many more who have some disordered eating. In the United States it is estimated that there are 8 million people with an eating disorder. You may be surprised to know that at least 1 million of those are male and the number is on the rise (source). There is a lot of pressure for men to have a muscular body (a body that is not attainable for many). This pressure leads to the abuse of steroids and exercise.

When I was reading up on this I found an article with this quote:

"Those who felt their bodies didn't measure up to the ideal reported that they worked out so much that weight training interfered with other parts of their lives. They also took protein supplements, were likely to report eating disorder symptoms, and thought about using steroids to enhance muscle growth."

This is not just a problem for women anymore. Another article said this:

"A 2002 study by the University of Wisconsin suggests that this new focus on fit and muscled male bodies is causing men the same anxiety and personal insecurity that women have felt for decades."


We have moved into a whole new realm in the media world. A place where men and women are portrayed as always fitting into a specific stereotype. It allows no room for diversity in any way. And we are buying into it.

So here are my thoughts: This needs to stop. So when we are teaching our sons to respect all types of women, and we are teaching our daughters to own their beauty just as they are we need to make sure we are looking at both sides of the issues. Our sons don't have to be a specific body type either. Our daughters need to be taught to respect differences in men as well as women. Sons need to know that they are amazing, handsome, and talented even if they never become a lumberjack.

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Old spice image source

Big Announcement: When dreams come true

About a month ago I got a crazy idea. Fortunately I have an amazing husband who was on board right away. But before anything could happen we had to clean out the chicken coop. Yes, we have a chicken coop. We have lived here for nearly 18 months. We have carefully avoided the chicken coop during the entire year and a half. It wasn't hard to avoid, this place was (is?) a fixer upper from the start. We have had to haul of truck load after truck load of junk. Since the coop was enclosed the mess within was easy to ignore. But in order for this idea of mine to come to fruition the coop had to be addressed.

Nasty.

But we got it cleaned out and began the work of moving all of my husband's shop into the newly clean coop. When we were looking at this property one of the big selling points was the amazing shop next to the house. Finally my husband would have a wood shop. Almost 900 square feet of shop (that's only slightly smaller than our last house). And now all he has to show for it is a chicken coop full of stuff. That's true love for you: the sacrifice of a wood shop for your wife's dream.

We have been working every night and free Saturday to get everything in order. And while we still have a lot (I mean a lot) of work to do, we are close enough that good things are going to start happening.

I guess I can't stall any longer. So without further ado let me announce the opening of:

We have turned that 900 square feet of prime real estate next to our house into a yoga studio! I've been wanting to teach since I was certified back in 2008. But apart from a few private lessons and a few group classes here and there I haven't been teaching much. And I so love to teach.

Classes will begin Thursday evening. And your first class is free, free, free, so if you're in the area (the Lindon, UT area) you should stop by. 

This is sort of a dream come true. I had convinced myself that I wasn't able to teach until my dress size was smaller, but as I have branched out and taught anyway I have found that I have been accepted without reservation. Having this little home studio is a bit of a leap of faith for me, but I'm thrilled to have a chance to share something I love so much with others.

A huge thanks to my husband for everything. He's amazing. I also need to thank my awesome sister for designing my logo. She's talented huh. Pictures of the transformed shop to studio will come soon. And if you want to come to a class let me know.

We are not objects of lust

With all the work my hubby and I have been doing lately we haven't had much time for a date night. So, last night we finally went out. We went to the Jazz basketball game. We had a marvelous time. But on the way home I started to vent. After declaring my disgust for the outfits worn by the women who participated I told my husband not to worry, my rant would probably be a blog post the next day. And thus:

My rant: A post in which I share my feelings about professional sports, women, and skimpy outfits.

So here's the deal. We get to the game and out come the cheerleaders. They are simply wearing a tiny, skimpy, flimsy little dress that covers basically nothing. Then they start to dance. The moves are very provocative. Then at half time this group came out to do some trick dunks. Included in the group were two females. While the men were wearing basketball shorts and t-shirts, the women were wearing bottoms that looked like a pair of very tight boy underwear. On top they had a sports bra. That's all. And the women didn't really dunk. Instead they did flips and splits while the men did the dunking (they were all jumping off of trampolines, so really, anyone could have dunked it). The purpose of all the women? To be a sex symbol. End of story.

Why are the women who get to participate in professional men's sports there only as sex objects?

Why aren't the women able to do fun trick dunks in a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt?

Why are the dance moves geared only to get the mind thinking about one thing?

I'm sorry, but I feel that these things are wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

Women have so much more to offer to the table than their bodies. And speaking of those bodies, their bodies don't have to be on display like that in order to be fantastic and amazing. Dancing, dunking, whatever the talents these ladies have they shouldn't need to be mostly naked in order for those talents to be appreciated.

And truly, are they being appreciated? No. They are being lusted after. I'm so disturbed by the trend in men's sports to make women into objects. Now I've been aware of this going on for years. But lately I've been surrounding myself with all kinds of body positive resources for women. So last night the contrast was extremely disturbing. I think my husband even thought it was ridiculous and a bit disgusting.

My intent was to get on here today and beg the women and girls that read this post to stop this pattern. Let's refuse to take part. I wanted to appeal to my readers to realize the worth of women beyond the physical.

But this morning as I got up and read some of the blogs I normally follow I was heartened. There really is a large community of people out there trying to take back the dignity in being a woman. And as I mentioned,  I have been so immersed in this community that I had almost forgotten the objectifying until last night.

And I realized that I may not be able to stop the tidal wave before me on a global level, but here in my little corner of the internet good things are happening. We are fighting back. And in my own home, that is where I have the most power to influence for good. You have that as well. Lets teach our sons to respect women. Then lets teach our daughters to be confident, strong, capable women who are more than their appearance.  We will change the world, one amazing girl at a time.

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Forgiveness: the key to self-love and intuitive eating

Learning to love ourselves takes on many shapes and forms. For me, I had to give up my battle where food was concerned. I also had to grapple with the voice in my head constantly telling me I don't measure up (I'm an over achiever and am often way too hard on myself). But to be honest, those are only a couple ways where feelings of inadequacy plague us.

In fact, I believe that often times we don't even realize the fight going on is in fact a fight over self-acceptance and love.

For example, there are people out there who can eat whatever they want. They are strong and confident in their abilities. They don't have body shame. So in essence, it would appear that anything and everything said on a blog like LITM would not appeal to them. But I don't think this is always true. Self-love can still be difficult for people like this.

I have a dear friend who wrote to me recently. I hope she doesn't mind me talking about her:) She can fit into all of the categories up above. I just adore this woman. She is amazing. Her daily responsibilities are heavy, but she never complains. She takes them all on with happiness and does amazing things. However, she has developed a health condition that can often cause her great physical pain. Having lived most of her life being able to eat whatever she felt like (and taking great pleasure in doing so) she now has to deal with the idea that her health could be greatly improved by eating a specific diet. A very healthy diet. One that includes mostly plant foods and whole grains. A diet that does make her feel better when she eats it. But (there's always a but) it is difficult to adhere to this diet.

I have theory.

You see, as someone who has dealt with food issues most of her life I can say that we are very emotionally tied to the way we eat. Even my dear friend who has never had to adhere to a diet is emotionally attached to her food choices. That is why learning that she must change and take on a diet that feels restrictive is difficult for her.

On the outside, we could look at her situation and say it's not fair. If I preach that we should all throw out rules and become intuitive eaters how does that work for someone like her? She has rules.

The truth is, we all need to write our own code of what we eat. Our own Word of Wisdom, if you will. Making this code hard and fast is not helpful. Actually writing the code is not helpful, but we need to know and understand our bodies and their needs.

For me, I am borderline PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). That means that my body often craves sugar and simple carbs. But when I indulge in these foods I feel awful. But I crave them. As an intuitive eater I know that while I may be craving something it may not make me feel well. Being an intuitive eater doesn't necessarily mean we give in to all of our cravings. Rather, it means we tune in and understand our bodies well enough to know that our food choices affect how we feel. And then with that knowledge we can eat the foods that allow us to feel our best. And sometimes that means telling that sugar craving, "not now." But "not now" doesn't mean never either. Sometimes we can, will, and should go ahead and indulge in the craved food. But observe. Always observe.

Does this mean we have rules? Well. . . yes. . . and no. We understand our bodies. We understand what will make us feel well, and so it could be argued that there are "rules." But think of it more as a guide to what makes you run in optimum condition.

On the flip side, there are no rules. You really can eat whatever you want. Decide if eating whatever you want makes you feel great though. Really great.

I guess where I'm really going with this post, however, is here: You must forgive yourself.

Forgiveness is key.

For my friend, she very clearly knows foods that will help and foods that will harm her. But she needs to take the long journey of learning to become an intuitive eater. Yes, even people who have never had food rules can benefit from intuitive eating, as it involves tuning in with the body and learning to eat in a way that promotes excellent health. So while my friend has "rules" before her, she needs to stop trying to force herself to abide by those rules. Instead, learning to tune into her body and really loving and honoring her body will allow her to lovingly choose the foods that make her feel amazing. She won't need a set of rules.

BUT. . . she will screw up. I screw up. Everyone makes mistakes. When we start getting after ourselves for eating something that doesn't make us feel well we are no longer intuitive eaters. Rather, we have become dieters once more. There is no room for harsh judgement in intuitive eating. None. You must forgive yourself. Observe how you felt when you ate the offending food. Learn from that particular experience. Then you can choose if you would like to repeat that experience ever again.

So, loving our bodies takes many forms. It's not just for those who have struggled with food and body image issues. It's for everyone. And the key, in my opinion, is learning forgiveness.

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