Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Back-Up Plan

We have had a series of unfortunate events the last few weeks at the Dahl House. One of which involved our favorite furry friends, Sandy and Charlie. We have been having trouble keeping them contained ever since we moved here, but they finally crossed the line. They killed the neighbor's turkey and some other large bird (we still don't know who it belonged to). So, it was time to part ways. I have been sad and heart broken about it. Still, ever since we had Cormac I really haven't been spending as much time with them and they are probably happier with new families. But I do miss them from time to time. I sure did this morning.

Every morning when Cormac wakes up I bring him in bed with me to feed him his bottle. It gives us both a chance to wake up a little more slowly. Ammon is usually already gone to work when we do this. This morning Ammon had left as usual and about a half hour later I had Cormac snuggled up to me in bed when I heard the front door open and close. I assumed it must be Ammon. He must have forgotten something. But still... what if it wasn't Ammon? My mind started to race. My plan in case of break-in has always been to somehow get Charlie in between me and whoever is breaking in. My dogs may have been spazy, but they loved me and would protect me. But I no longer had a Charlie. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I kept looking to see if Ammon would come around the corner. Rather than do anything active I just stayed in bed.

Then the doorbell rang. ? I carefully left Cormac tucked in bed and cautiously walked to the door. I peeked around the corner only to see a lady in a short pink bathrobe  standing at the door. My first thought was that she used to know Preston (the previous owner of the house) and must have just walked in. When she realized it was no longer his home she bolted and then decided to find out where he was. Wrong. She was looking for a pool a friend of hers told her she could swim in. I had no idea what to tell her, but since we are pool-less I sent her on her way.

Once again my first thought through all of this was that I needed my dogs back. But since that isn't really a likely option I need to come up with a back up plan. Want to hear the really scary part? Ammon locked the door before he left this morning and yet this woman walked right into our house. I guess our first line of action will be a trip to the Home Depot tonight to invest in some better door knobs and locks.

I miss you Sandy and Charlie.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

I meant no neglect

Hello to all. I hope you will forgive my absence the last week. Things have been a little on the crazy side over here and I didn't have it in me to write. We've had a health scare, truck problems, pet problems, colds, and other less than pleasant things on our plate these days. My family always said that bad things come in threes. We have learned that sometimes they come in sixes as well.

Alas, I am sorry to say that through all of this I have been turning to food for comfort and have been beating myself up more than before. It has been hard. I realize what I have been doing and yet have had little to no motivation to stop myself. I guess I struggle to live what I preach, which is sort of pathetic. It has made me realize that even though I was doing so well for a while, these things are still a very conscious effort for me. When I need my efforts to go elsewhere I give up on myself pretty fast in order to cope. I'm guessing coping could be easier if I didn't give up, but one step at a time. I knew that learning to like myself would be a process. Like all processes, we take a few steps forward and a few steps back, but the hope is that we are taking more forward than backward steps. I believe that I am generally moving forward, but it is slow going. At least it is right now.

So I hope you will excuse me and allow me to attempt to put the pieces back together this week as I move forward. Things are good. Through all of this we have had many good things happen as well. It has just been a little overwhelming of late. I may elaborate more in the future, but for right now I don't have the heart. Let's just say that where the health is concerned, we now have more questions than answers. Rats. But life goes on. If you would like to share ways that you deal with bad news that seem to work and help you stay positive, I would love to read them (I'm sure everyone else would as well). We could all use some help coping from time to time.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Guest Post: Confidence

When Melanee asked me to write a guest post, she told me I exude
confidence. Really? Was she buttering me up so I'd be willing to post? (I
would have happily been a guest anyway.)

I don't always feel confident. Do I appear confident?

Where does confidence come from? An obvious but fickle source is other
people. I had a beautiful roommate in college for a brief summer term. She
was tall with long blonde hair and blue eyes. She was artistic and athletic
and popular. She was also bulimic.

She'd always been Beautiful. That's who she was. Everyone told her
she was Beautiful. Then she gained a little weight in college (not much).
She HAD to keep being Beautiful. She didn't have another way to identify

Fortunately, I've never had the problem of my identity being
Beautiful.  (darn! phew!)

I have been known to compare myself to others. It's a soul sapping
pursuit.  It has made me miserable by day and sleepless by night.
There's no upside.  I am learning (trying) to rejoice in others'
successes rather than feel diminished by them. There are some people‹the
ones I know very best‹that I never feel the need to compare myself to. I
know them well enough to know we're all in this together. I'm convinced if
we all knew each other better, we wouldn't feel lacking.

Confidence is a process, certainly susceptible to setbacks large and small.
When confidence falters, sometimes you just need to ride it out. In the
meantime, here are some other sources of confidence that I've found:

1- Getting older. It just helps. At 27 I was truckloads more confident
than I was at 17 and at 37, exponentially more.

2- Live by your own lights. Really consider what it is you want. Consider
why. If you strive for what you truly want and you feel sure that it is in
line with your values, you feel confident that you're on the right track.

3- Take care of yourself. A little bit of selfishness is in order for women
everywhere.  (And really isn't that selfish.) I am a firm believer in
a touch of pampering. I am well acquainted with leisurely hot baths and my
comfortable favorite chair. I am never shy in letting my husband know what
makes me happy. I walk and chat (free therapy) with a friend instead of
working out at the gym (which would feel like Work). If you give yourself
permission to nurture your own needs every once in awhile, you will start to
believe you are someone worth the effort.

The most important source of confidence is readily available to all of us
though. It is doing good in the world. When you know, know, that
you've made a difference in the life of someone else, it can only magnify
your sense of worth.

Thelma is my dear, dear sister-in-law. I love all of my husband's sister and all of his bother's wives. They are all so inspiring. In fact, I can attribute the whole beginning of my journey to Ammon's family. If you want to read more about Thelma and her adventures (she is a wonderful writer isn't she?) then you can visit her blog here.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Of Bodies and Brains:

Brain scans reveal women's concerns about the way they look.

How concerned are you about your body image? Your answer might be closer to "not at all" than "very much,' but a recent BYU study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences suggests that if you are a woman, your brain might show otherwise.

Psychology assistant professor Mark D. Allen and associate professor Diane L. Spangler began their study with MRI scans of bulimic women. While being scanned, the women viewed images of strangers of all body types, imagining that someone was saying, "Your body looks like this." When they viewed overweight women, their MRIs lit up in areas os the brain associated with self-evaluation and negative emotional processing.

Intrigued by these patterns, the researchers decided to compare the women with bulimia to a group of women without eating disorders. Participants completed a questionnaire about their body satisfaction, fear of weight gain, eating behaviors, and self-judgment about their body weight or shape. On a scale measuring their concern about their body image, from 0 (not at all) to 6 (very much), the women without eating disorders averaged 0.1--"extremely low," says Allen. Yet, when these women viewed images of overweight strangers, their MRIs were similar to those of the bulimic women.

At this point, Tyler E. Owens (BS '04) a grad student assisting the researchers, suggested studying men as well. While men tested similarly to healthy women on the body-image questionnaire, their MRIs were completely different. "When viewing overweight men, men do not appear to respond with any sense that it is relevant to them personally," says Spangler.

This may seem unsurprising: most people don't need a study to confirm that even the healthiest women are more concerned about being overweight than men. What is interesting to the researchers is that these women seem unaware of this subconscious bias. In fact, many said they were bored or uninterested while viewing the images, despite the story their brain scans revealed.

"Sometimes headlines can make scientific findings sound really trite," says Allen. "'Women Don't Want to Get Fat.' Well, duh!" Allen explains the significance this way: "Studies on eating disorders invariably select a group of women without eating disorders as control subjects. One thing our study shows is that we cannot assume that such women are completely free of body-image issues. That is, there may be no such thing as a control group."

Spangler adds, "I think this study shows just how pervasive and penetrating the thing ideal for women has become. Many women learn that bodily appearance and thinness constitute what is important about them, and their brains reflect that."

Owens says that just being aware of the issue is helpful, for women and men. Men can learn to be more understanding of the self-conscious thoughts of women, and women can learn to check their self-judgements: "By understanding these vulnerabilities, people may take action to replace sources of negative thinking with messages that foster positive self-image."

~Olivia Serafin Merrill ('10), BYU Magazine Summer 2010

I thought this article was fascinating and wanted to share it with all of you.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Sick Today, and yesterday, and the day before...

I apologize for my neglect of late. Our days have been a little bit dreary over here. Too much going on. We all are run down and sick.

But we like to keep it happy around here. Dinosaur jammies, Beauty and the Beast, and lots of snuggles.

Monday, August 16, 2010

The moment you've all been waiting for

Or at least those of you who have joined the journey and entered the giveaway. I promise I have not been meaning to be neglectful lately. Life has just really gotten out of hand. I have been trying to juggle too many things.

But I won't keep you waiting any longer. Behold the very scientific process that went into this:

Congratulations to MiKiera. For the rest of you I hope you will consider purchasing the book. It really is a good read. You can click here to order Intuitive Eating. I wish I could get each one of you a book. Thank you all for participating. I hope to do more giveaways in the future.

Disclosure: I am a member of the Amazon Affiliate program. Clicking on the book above will take you to Amazon.com, but you are under no obligation to purchase anything.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Smiles and Laughs

I can't help but crack up every single time I see this picture. My little boy is rather expressive, but I still can't believe I actually captured this moment on camera. I love the crazy eye brows. The scrunched up face. The food around his mouth. And those eyes. Those dark dark eyes. Love this boy. He makes me smile. This crazy little fellow makes my life so wonderful. He makes everything worth it.

So here's a shout out from us to you, hoping that your Thursday brings you something wonderful to smile about. If nothing else, tomorrow's Friday!

P.S. There's still time to enter the giveaway. I'm extending the deadline out to Monday at noon. Read about the details to enter here.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Free Books and Stuff

So, I'm a little shocked by how few people are entering the giveaway. It's a free book. But then I guess that just shows you where my passion lies. I love books. I collect them. I have to have them. I even keep books I don't like very much just because it's a book. Regardless of my personal feelings for books I felt that perhaps I hadn't really explained myself well. So here I am going to give you a proper book review to express why I felt strongly enough to fork out my own money to purchase a book to give away.

Intuitive Eating was written by two registered dietitians who have been working with countless patients over the years. They start off by telling of how they would work with these patients to help them lose weight. They would set up meal plans and eventually the people would successfully lose weight, but inevitably after a few months to a few years these patients would call back having gained back all the weight and usually more. These people were dejected that they had failed and felt that they couldn't be trusted with food on their own. So they wanted to be put back on another plan and wanted to have their hands held through the whole process.

Both Tribole and Resch saw how these patients would come back feeling guilty and hating themselves over this whole event. Here is how they describe their patients who have been on diet after diet:

"...the harder you try to diet, the harder you fall--it really hurts not to succeed if you did everything right. The best description for this effect is given by John Foreyt, Ph.D., a noted expert in dieting psychology. He likened it to a Chinese finger puzzle (a hollow cylinder of straw into each end of which you insert an index finger). The harder you try to get out, the more pressure you exert, the more difficult it is to get out of the puzzle. Instead, you find yourself locked in tighter . . . trapped . . . frustrated."

So that was when these two decided that something was wrong with the way they were helping these people gain a healthy weight and gain health in general.

Something that amazed me about all these patients was that each one of them had these symptoms:
~ The mere contemplation of going on a diet brings on urges and cravings for "sinful" foods.
~ Upon ending a diet, going on a food binge and feeling guilty.
~ Having little trust in self with food.
~ Feeling that you don't deserve to eat.
~ Shortened dieting duration.
~ Last supper bingeing (when you eat everything you will "never eat again." I've been doing this one since I had my baby 9 months ago because I've felt like I need to go on a diet.).
~ Social withdrawal.
~ Sluggish metabolism.
~ Eating disorders.

So Tribole and Resch put their patients on a program to help them give up dieting forever. The plan is all about learning to eat when you are biologically hungry. Eating what you want and being totally satisfied and happy with your choices. Eating what makes your body feel good and energized. And then stopping when you are comfortably full. The steps include:

1. Reject the diet mentality.
2. Honor your hunger.
3. Make peace with food.
4. Challenge the food police.
5. Feel your fullness.
6. Discover the satisfaction factor.
7. Cope with your emotions without using food.
8. Respect your body.
9. Exercise--Feel the difference.
10. Honor your health--gentle nutrition.

On a personal note:
What I love so much about all of this is that it makes sense to me. I've yo-yo dieted for years. I struggled with an eating disorder. I've done all of that. The mere thought of going on another diet makes me cringe and yet the thought of staying overweight the rest of my life is too depressing to not go on another diet, but this gives me hope. This leads me to believe that if others can eat normal and maintain a normal, healthy weight, that perhaps I can too. I am still on the very first two steps. I am still struggling to give up the idea that I should never ever diet again, but I want to, so that is half the battle. Sometimes I fail to eat when I'm hungry because I'm busy. Other times I don't because I feel like if I'm hungry then maybe I'll lose weight. This is flawed thinking and I'm dealing with it. So it is going to take me a while, but I'm excited about the possibilities.

That is why I was so excited to share it with my readers. That is why I wanted you to get a chance to read this and to feel the hope that I feel. So, now that I've explained myself I hope that you will consider looking into this book if it sounds like something you can live with. Everyone is different. Different things work for different people. And people don't like to be told how they should approach weight loss if it means it won't be a fast fix, but here you have it. You can enter the giveaway here.

If you have left me a comment double check that you really are a follower on the side bar so that you can be included in the drawing. If you are a follower, but haven't left me a comment saying you want to be in the drawing, please do that too, right here. I would hate for you to be excluded when you wanted to be included.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Diet, Diet, Who's one a diet? (and giveaway)

Or maybe I should say, who isn't on a diet, because I think the number would be much smaller. If you aren't on a diet right now I'm betting you have been on one in the past or are planning to go on one shortly (or both). Here is what I have to say about that: Diets do not work.

Again for dramatic effect: Diets do not work.

My (summarized) list of reasons why I say that:
Diets sometimes work in the short term, but not in the long term.
Diets set you up for lifetime of guilt when it comes to eating.
Diets create complexes with food that are unhealthy.
Diets can lead to eating disorders (I've been there and back).
Diets are miserable when you are on them.
Diets are miserable when you aren't on them.

Basically I believe that dieting is not the answer. I'm not saying we should all give in and accept that we will be forever fat. I know I need to lose weight. Just last week my doctor told me I need to, but he didn't tell me I have to lose it tomorrow, and he didn't tell me that I should be unhealthy and obsess about it. Granted I have been doing a little bit of that, but I am trying to move past that. I don't want weight loss to be the focus. I want health to be my focus. That is why I have been looking for solutions to help me. 

What I have found has excited me more than anything else in this arena in a very long time. I believe that our bodies know what they need. I also believe that our bodies deserve to be treated kindly and to be nourished. I think the answer is learning to listen to our bodies.

Imagine for a minute that you have no restrictions on what you eat. Imagine that while you could eat all the chocolate in the world without guilt you simply don't want to because you know later in the day it will give you a headache. So instead you only have one piece and you feel completely satisfied and happy. Imagine how wonderful that would be. 

My friend Sarah introduced me to a book that has changed her life. It is called Intuitive Eating. I have been devouring this book and am so excited by the possibilities that I have decided to share it with all of you. Thus I am doing a small give away. One of my readers will get a free copy of this book. I hope that it will be as enlightening to you as it has been for me. It worked for my friend. She no longer yo-yo diets or engages in dangerous eating habits. She is healthy. She eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants, lost a bunch of weight, and is easily maintaining a healthy weight for her body. That's what I am hoping to get from this. Maybe you can too.

There are three ways to enter:

1. Become a follower and leave me a comment telling me that you are now a follower (if you are already a follower just leave me a comment). 

2. Post about this giveaway on your blog. Leave me a comment telling me you did so, and give me a link to your blog so I can see.

3. Share about the giveaway on your Facebook. Leave me a comment letting me know.

You can enter once or all three times. I'll close the giveaway on Friday. A winner will be randomly selected. I hope you'll enter!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Guest Post: The Girl in the Mirror - True Beauty School

I'm excited to introduce my dear cousin Hannah. Okay, fine, she's really my husband's cousin, but I'm claiming her. She is an inspiration to me. She is raising three wonderful girls and yet still finds time to be a productive and amazing person. You can find out more about Hannah by visiting her blog Lily and Thistle. She also has the most adorable line of custom paper dolls that you can check out here. Enjoy!

Girl in Mirror by Norman Rockwell

We've all been to "Beauty School" in one way or another haven't we? For me and most of us, beauty school started as long ago as elementary school, maybe even sooner. It seemed every story we read or movie we watched, the heroine/hero was beautiful and kind and the villain/witch was ugly with crooked teeth and warty skin. So naturally I assumed all "pretty" people were good and all "ugly" people were bad. I unconsciously learned that I needed to be pretty to be good, worthwhile. I knew I looked "pretty" after my mom braided my hair because my mom always told me so. I knew the ladies on the Miss America Pageant show were "beautiful." When I overheard the kids taunt the "fat girl" at school or when I went to my neighbor friend's house and saw her mom working out to Jane Fonda with her diet soda right at her side, I knew being thin was very important too. 

Beauty School studies seemed to get more intense as I got older. During high school, Seventeen magazine was delivered to my door every month full of pictures and products to help me reach the "ideal beauty." Some of the boys at school seemed to know just what areas I was self-conscious about and tease me and some of the other girls. My older brother would chant "fat legs, fat legs" whenever I wore shorts. This was the ultimate in put-downs. I stopped wearing shorts.  

I was lucky though, for every negative voice, I had at least twice as many voices telling me I was a "Daughter of God," an "Eternal Being," with divine worth.  On sundays I was surrounded by other young women who were real friends and were learning the same things.  Along with Seventeen magazine, a magazine called The New Era came to my door. The stories in this magazine helped me see past all of the beauty "ideals" and to think of beauty on a deeper, more meaningful level. I was lucky to have parents who, for the most part, confirmed the things I was taught at church. Most of the time, when I thought of a "beautiful woman," it was usually one of my church leaders.  

Beauty School is still going on for me today but I believe I am in the graduate program and the school is now called "True Beauty School." I am realizing that the more I live and learn the more I can see true beauty. I think of the beauty of my body that gave us three amazing baby girls. I think of women who have survived cancer or who have been scarred or disfigured by accidents but whose beauty almost overwhelmingly shines through.  I've realized that beauty is a VERB.

to download and print, please visit me here

I wonder what my daughters' perception of beauty will be. I know they will receive many mixed messages and be exposed to a lot. I know I have a huge responsibility to guide them. I hope that my voice will be one that will confirm the divine nature that each of them has. I hope that my guidance will be the kind that leads them to serve and look outside of themselves to help others but to also be comfortable in their own skin.  

 I still forget once in a while who I really am and can get caught up in things that really don't matter...we are all still "girls in the mirror" aren't we? It's so important that we face our unfinished beauty school business so that the next generation of girls will be strong enough not only to see the real beauty in themselves but cultivate the real beauty in others. We don't have to do it alone...we just have to stay enrolled in True Beauty School. 

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Soap Box-Conclusions

High school prom. My handsome husband and me.

Part 2
Jane has since found her prince charming. He is good and kind to her. He adores her just as she is. He is with her on her bad days as well as her good ones. He never tries to make her feel bad about herself. They make sacrifices to be together and to make a happy life together. Jane finally sees that being treated badly isn't worth it. I believe she is also beginning to see what I see in her.

Part 1
After recovering somewhat from my break-up I became mad. Not at my parents anymore, but at the guy who had so mistreated me. I hated him. I never wanted to hear his name again. I was so mad. But my anger wasn't very productive. I didn't really feel better about myself. I was just angry and stayed angry for a long time. It took me a long time to move on. It took a lot of people helping me to see that I wasn't totally a loser. It took a lot of accomplishments for me to finally feel like I had worth. But I got better. Not healed all the way though at that point. Not until I married my husband and had his help. Even today I think I'm still recovering from that and all the other negative self talk I have been feeding myself for years. I am married to the most incredible man ever now. Even Jane's prince charming pales in comparison. I am truly loved. My husband would never make me feel low about myself. Never.


1. I was a hypocrite. It was all fine and good for me to be outraged by Jane's treatment, but when I was in a similar situation I was convinced that I deserved it. All the while I was preaching that no one deserved such treatment. No one but me. I was dirt. I deserved what I got. Not true.

2. It is difficult for someone who hates themselves to make those around them feel special and loved. My boyfriend was miserable and he transfered that to me. He was stuck in a horrible situation and so that is how he treated things he "cared" about. If we hate ourselves and cannot treat ourselves kindly then our relationships with others will suffer and can never reach their full potential. There will always be poison in that well.

3. The relationships that we are in make a huge difference on how we feel. But it is our choice who we create relationships with. You do not have to be in a relationship that makes you feel poorly about yourself or about others. Never. You have the power to surround yourselves with those who make you feel good. If there are people in our lives that we can't get rid of but would like to, then avoid them. Change the subject when unpleasant things come up. Just know that you can be in control. We do not have to let others destroy the way we feel about ourselves.

4. You can't fix people. They have to fix themselves. People who have serious psychological issues need professional help. It is important not to get into a situation where you are constantly being torn down when all you were trying to do is help. Be a support if you need to, but be it from a distance. It is so important to protect our own sense of self worth and happiness. Without those things we cannot be productive, happy people. We can't make a difference for good in this world. We simply can't. We need to have an intact sense of self.

5. Today I believe that it is true that no one deserves to be mistreated. Even myself. I don't deserve it. Neither do you.  No one should ever demean others and make them feel like they are a pointless person. Not even you to yourself. I should not make myself feel that way anymore than anyone else should make me feel that way. The way we talk to ourselves is just as powerful as the way others talk to us. Realizing this has made a huge difference for me. I was outraged that I was so mistreated as was my friend by someone. Yet how many times a day have I been telling myself I'm a loser? Well, not anymore. It is time to change and to reach my full potential. I want to be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, cousin, you name it. In order to get there I have to believe that I have something to offer. Because I do.

So do you.

Strike a pose. You're awesome.

Soap Box-Part 2

Some of my dear friends and me in Russia. In case you are wondering, no the Jane talked of in this post is not pictured, 
but I do love each of these girls dearly as well.

I had and have a dear, dear friend in my life. I just adore this woman. We have been through a lot together. It's always funny to me how you can have certain friendships that can pick up right where they left off even when it has been a long, long time. You can be confident then that this is a true friendship. That's how it has been with this woman. For her privacy and protection we will call her Jane.

Once upon a time in Jane's life she dated a real loser. Well, to be perfectly honest she dated two in a row. They both used her badly. She even relocated for one. She changed her entire life to be with him and then he left her. Jerks! Both of them. Poor Jane was miserable. She was convinced that she would never find someone who cared about her as she was. She would never be happy in a relationship.

I was outraged by this entire event. How could anyone mistreat my dear friend. I sincerely believed that no one deserved to be so mistreated. No one. Especially not someone that I cared about so much. It was unjust and unfair.

Being defensive about our friends feelings is something that comes very natural to most people. I can't stand to watch someone I love get hurt. It eats me up inside. If I could fix it I would. Jane and I had a lot of long talks. I kept reiterating to her what a wonderful person she was. I don't know if anything I said helped, but I knew I had to try. I had to make her believe that she was beautiful and special. I had to do at least that much for Jane.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Soap Box-Part One

Just some pictures of me growing up.

Once upon a time I dated a real loser. Well, I dated several losers, but this was beyond that. This particular individual was rather abusive. Mostly mentally, although it did get physical a few times. This was a very low point in my life. There were many changes going on in my family which made me feel insecure already. I was vulnerable. This person and I started to date. It didn't take me long to realize that this was not a great situation. When we had been going out just a couple of weeks I wanted to end it, but I was worried about what others would say. So we continued the relationship.

As time went on there were times when I felt like I needed out, but he threatened to do horrible things to himself if I left. I was scared he would hurt himself or worse. I didn't want that on my head. So I stayed.

Weeks went by and I found that I no longer wanted to end the relationship. I was scared to. Not because of what would happen to him, but because of what might happen to me. I "knew" that I was the scum of the Earth by this point. This person was doing me a favor by staying by my side. He loved me out of the goodness of his heart when anyone else would have taken one look at me and bolted the other way. I just knew this was the case.

The person I was dating had a miserable home life. He was not happy and was rather mentally abused himself, or so he thought. Either way, he was not happy. He hated himself.

Eventually my parents intervened. They had watched for weeks while their happy, fun loving daughter turned melancholy. They could see that I was miserable. They helped me to put an end to it. Oh but there was weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. I was so angry at my parents. How could they do this to me? Didn't they know that I would never, ever be able to find someone who would love me again? He was doing me a favor, and now I would be alone the rest of my miserable, pitiful, disgusting existence.

To be continued...

Monday, August 2, 2010

Challenge no more

After much thought I have decided to do away with the weekly challenge. I felt like it was sort of retarded. This blog was never intended for me to tell others how to do what I do not yet know how to do. If that makes sense. Instead, this blog was intended for me to share my thoughts, challenges, ideas, successes, and failures in finding inner peace with myself.

Something I have been thinking about a lot goes along perfectly with the following quote:

"Body image expert and psychologist Judith Rodin notes in her book Body Traps, 'You don't need to lose weight first in order to take care of yourself. In fact, the process actually happens quite in the reverse!' We also have found that if you are willing to make weight loss a secondary goal and respecting your body a primary goal, it will help move you forward.
     "We are not saying disregard your body--we are urging you instead to respect it. This does not mean that you should throw in the towel. This does not mean that you should disregard your health. In fact, respecting your body means taking care of your health. It is the beginning, however, of making peace with your body and your genetics. It is probably the most difficult thing that you will do."
~Intuitive Eating, p. 167

This is something I have thought a lot about. This is what I'm attempting to do. Back in the day if I had looked at this blog I would have thought, "Cute, some excuse for a fat person to justify being fat and to stay that way." Please do not assume that is what I'm doing. Not at all. I know perfectly well the dangers of being overweight. I really do. I hear it all the time. However, I feel that the way I have been beating myself up when I fail at diet after diet is unhealthy and counter productive.

Our bodies are special and deserve to be treated with respect. I have been doing much better. Rather than pushing through my bad days when I'm in a lot of pain I have been giving myself breaks. Just that right there has made a huge difference. When I think negative thoughts about my body I have been replacing them with kind thoughts. That has made a huge difference as well. Not just in how I feel about myself, but in how I feel about others. So, I'm making progress.

Stay tuned later in the week for a giveaway. I'm excited to share some of the things I've been reading and learning with you. Thus the giveaway.