Taking the blame

A few days ago my little family took a walk. As my husband and I were walking I started telling him all the reasons I want to lose weight: so I won't be embarrassed to be seen in public anymore, to shut up rude comments from people, to prove that I can, to finally fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, etc. But my ever wise husband replied to all this that none of it mattered. If I was going to do it, I need to do it for myself, and I need to do it for my health.

We've had this conversation before. Yet I always manage to find others to blame for everything. I'm only needing to lose weight right now because of pregnancy and nursing. I have an unhealthy body image because of my friends, family, and the media. It isn't my fault I have issues with my health. The doctors should be able to fix this. But all this excuse making has left me struggling with health and weight issues.

I have Fibromyalgia, sleep apnea, and insomnia. That's a mouthful. I personally think they are all related. I also think some of my weight issues stem back to these issues as well. Either way I have decided I do not want to live in bondage to these things. Before pregnancy I was on pills to help me cope with this. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to rely on something like that. I want to be able to run after my son and know that it won't put me in bed for the next 3 days.

So, in an effort to take control I have realized that learning to take responsibility for my own health is the first step. I'm one of those people who like an audience I guess you could say. I also think best when I reason things out, out loud. Thus the blog. My husband and I are complete opposites in this way. He would rather not tell the world. I am hoping that by sharing my journey I can aid someone else in need as well as gain support to help me along the way. So, here goes.