Things around here have been a bit frazzled lately. First of all, I have not been eating well. I have gotten lazy. Part of me feels that with the holidays upon us I might as well give it up because I'll never be able to eat the way I want. It's been an internal battle. I know that when I eat sugar, gluten, and dairy I don't feel well. Yet I constantly give in. My energy is down. My mood is bad. My body is beginning to ache all over again. Sometimes I forget that changing our habits doesn't happen over night, it takes a lot of time. We need to expect the occasional backslide, but not let it ruin our resolution to change. I need to remind myself of that constantly right now.
Secondly, Cormac has another ear infection. This is his second one in six weeks. I'm anxious about it. I had horrible ear infections as a child. The doctor is concerned that if this happens again soon (before we are even really into the season for ear infections) that we may need to get tubes put in his ears. I know that many children have tubes in their ears and they do just fine, but I'm anxious. That, and I'm trying to comfort my sick baby.
Thirdly, Cormac has decided that he likes to throw temper tantrums. When Ammon is home this is not so bad because Ammon has more patience than almost everyone I know combined. But during the day it is another matter. I do not have patience. In fact, I have a little temper of my own. So I watch as my child throws himself on the ground and continually bashes his head into things. It upsets me and makes me mad which I am ashamed of. We are trying to get him off his bottle and I think that is largely his problem; he really wants his bottle. I want to give in, but I don't. It has been hard. Any advice for stopping tantrums? His poor little head is covered in bruises. I have tried to stop it, but I've found lately that I just have to let him scream it out while getting most things out of his way.
Lastly, I'm anxious about Thanksgiving. I have a whole list of things I'm going to bake so that there will be fun, healthy treats available, but I know what is going to be on the table during the meal. It's not that I feel like I can't eat these things. I know that I can. It's just that I know how horrible I feel when I do eat these things and I don't want to feel that way. For whatever reason I struggle to keep in good spirits when I'm with my family. I stress that things need to be just right from my own personal appearance, to the behavior of my husband and son, to how much fun everyone is having. I feel personally responsible for all of these things. Ridiculous I know, but there you have it. So the last thing I need is a low because I'm not eating well.
So today I'm feeling anxious and frazzled. I guess I feel the need to throw my own temper tantrum, but you'll have to excuse me, I need to go see if my son has cried himself out yet. I feel like a terrible mother...