It takes guts to be your kind of awesome

Originally posted June 16, 2011

The first time I went skydiving I felt brave. At least that's what I told myself. I told myself I had guts. I was a brave gal. What I was really feeling was peer pressure and a whole lot of freak-out. But when you are strapped to someone larger than you who is headed for the door you kind of just go with it. When I landed I was elated. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

But bravery? Maybe not.

When I think of the word "bravery," I picture war heroes, cancer patients, and firefighters. But then there is another group: people who are unapologetically themselves. Now that, friends, takes guts. It takes insane amounts of courage to be exactly who you are. Think about this with me for a minute.

1. These authentic beings do not let the fads of culture sway them.
2. They do not allow peer pressure to make them do crazy things (like jump out of planes, unless they really want to), or be anything other than what they are.
3. These folks have tried new things. How else could they find where their true passion lies.
4. Authentic individuals do not apologize for who they are.
5. Even when faced with loneliness or being alone these people cannot betray who and what they are.

All of these things take incredible courage. It's hard to let the opinions of others roll off our backs. It is hard to look in the mirror and be fine with what is there. Especially when the world may argue that the way we look is wrong. It's hard not to make excuses for being different. It's hard to just be you without justification. It is so hard to think that being you could alienate you from some. And it takes a lot of courage.

And then there's that whole trying new things bit. If you've always been marginally interested in karate, but never attended a class assuming it's not really for "your type" you are cheating yourself. You are taking away a chance to discover something that could light up your life and make your heart sing. But holy cow it's hard to walk through that door.

Trial and error is one of the great gifts of this life though. When we try new things we may fail. We may despise our karate class, or we may find a new true love. But until you master your fears and find the courage you need to step forward you may never actually meet the awesome person that you are.

Let's just say it like it is: It takes one brave person to be unapologetically themselves. I like those people. Here's hoping I find the courage to become one.

This post was written as part of the Self Discovery, Word by Word series. This month's marvelous hostess is Dr. Udall-Weiner from The Body and the Brood. Check out her post on the word of her choosing, "Bravery" here. Want to participate? Click here for details.

It's Universal

Image from here.

In one of my literature classes I remember discussing the following concept: That which is most personal is most universal. At the time it made sense, but didn't seem to apply to my life. The idea was that when we write about personal things it is more powerful than when we don't. I get it now.

I get emails and comments all the time from people telling me how much they appreciate me telling my very personal story. Then each one of these people tell me that they get it. They've been there. They feel exactly the same way. It's interesting. All of us have been held up to the measuring stick and found wanting. Each story tells about a mother who didn't care for her own body and then her children took it to an extreme level. Or of the pressure from friends to look a certain way. Or watching T.V. and feeling like you just don't have what it takes. Or. . .

Everything I share on this blog pertains to me and my particular situation. When I share quotes or findings it is because it meant something to me. It gave me an "ah ha" moment. Yet my readers seem to get those moment too.

Something else that is interesting, we have all bought into this whole image thing. As I think we have already established, it's all about money. But I believe it is more than that. I believe that now it is a culture thing. Since I have decided to attempt to stop dieting, obsessing, and otherwise body bash I have often felt left out of certain circles and conversations.

Here's the funny thing about it, from what people tell me, you all want to stop too. But we all feel peer pressure to keep going on this destructive trail. These have just been a few of my observations the last few months. It's interesting.

So, what has helped me to be okay feeling left out and to commit to this anyway? Because let's face it, sometimes it's hard to remember that I truly do want this for myself. Well, one is my child. I don't want him to ever feel like he isn't good enough. Study after study has shown that children feel about themselves the way their parents feel about their own bodies. Something else that is interesting, men have a huge influence over how girls and women feel. So if you had a father or brother who was hard on you that may have influenced you.

Back to what I was saying. My son is motivation. But even more than that, sharing my story is motivating. Getting feedback from readers is motivating. It is making a huge difference. Knowing that people are watching to see if I can pull this off is helping me so much.

I thought I'd share those motivators today because if it is helping me in my personal situation, perhaps it could help you in yours. After all, that which is most personal is most universal.