The Most Amazing Machine

Originally posted January 18, 2011

Everything is harder right now.

It's harder to sleep all night. But it's also harder to get up in the morning. It's harder to prepare meals and take care of my toddler. It's harder to walk and bend. It's harder to blog. It's harder to put together a logical sentence. Everything just seems hard. I'm less than 5 weeks from my due date and everything is harder. I have so many things I desperately want to get done before #2 arrives, but as you may have heard me mention lately, everything is harder. Things just don't get done like they used to. I struggle to motivate myself to do the dishes, let alone paint the baby's dresser.

This state of affairs has brought me to tears of frustration a time or two (hormones don't help). I am so tired, but I have so much I want to do. There have been days where I have been so exhausted I didn't get a thing done, but that fact frustrates me. I want to be productive before everything changes again.

One day as I was feeling very "woe is me" over this state of affairs I had the opportunity to teach yoga that evening. So after an only somewhat productive day I taught a bunch of 14 to 15 year old girls yoga. They loved the class (which was really good for my pregnant self-esteem). They all gasped when I did a head stand. They all marveled that I can still do a push up. And they all got something positive out of the class for themselves. Or at least they told me they did.

That night as I was thinking about my situation I realized something: I need to chill. This body of mine is creating life! My body is working around the clock to grow another human being. And on top of that I take care of a toddler all day. So really, even on my days that I feel less than productive, things aren't really all that bad. I mean, my son gets fed and gets love. My baby is still growing and moving. Things are okay.

Then I started to ponder on the miracle the human body is. Not just a human body that happens to be growing someone else at the moment, although that is miraculous, but the human body in general. Think about it. Every moment your body is sustaining life. Your heart beats and pumps your blood. Your digestive system nourishes your body. Your nerves keep you from burning your hand on the stove. And you did nothing to make this happen.

When my son is starting to get sick he doesn't eat as well (not that he's a great eater generally, but it gets worse when he's coming down with something). He is generally not showing any other signs yet. But within a day or so he usually develops other symptoms that let me know he's sick. Isn't it amazing that his appetite automatically adjusts? His body has to deal with other things, like getting him healthy. So it shifts into that mode automatically.

Our bodies want us to be healthy and well. They work around the clock to keep us that way. Since having this revelation I have been trying to listen more carefully to my body. This usually means more breaks during the middle of a project than I had wanted to take, but it also means less pain at night from working too hard. I have been feeling a deeper appreciation for all that my body does. It really is an amazing thing. I mean, I am nearly 9 months pregnant and I can indeed do a push up (not that I really want to). But more than that, while all this development goes on inside me my body is also keeping me healthy and strong. My body is also allowing me to take care of my family even if we do have waffles for dinner far more often than we should. This body is amazing.

Yours is too. Even when things aren't going exactly how you want with your body. Even then your body is amazing. The only thing your body wants for you is health. So maybe we should try to remember that next time we are down with the flu. No it's not fun, but your body will be the one fighting the hardest to right things. Give your body credit for all the amazing things it DOES do. And maybe try a little more kindness towards it. It works around the clock for you after all.

The Person I Am: Shaped by Pain

Originally posted November 23, 2011

It is 4:00 am. I want to be asleep. My body is physically worn out thanks to the demands of a busy day and the fact that I'm now 5 days away from my third trimester. But alas I cannot sleep. I finally got out of a restless bed to do something more productive, but relaxing. Writing is relaxing for me. My nights are getting a bit harder in general. It's not easy to get comfortable when you can't lay on your back or stomach and you have a basketball for a belly. A basketball that kicks. Tonight was different though. My shoulder is burning. I get this horrible, burning, aching pain in my shoulders and upper back. It's my body's way of letting me know I overdid it. I guess all the cleaning, baking, laundry, dishes, and toddler chasing from yesterday were a bit much. The pain is always the first thing to remind me that pushing myself too hard has consequences.

I shun pain as much as the rest of the world. I don't like to hurt. Not physically, mentally, or emotionally. Especially the later two. But in all reality, I am thankful for pain. I truly am. It may seem strange, but I can honestly say that without pain I wouldn't be the person I am today.

When I was young, probably about 7, I broke the blinds in my brother's room. When confronted about it I lied and said my sister did it. She denied it. We were both punished until the truth was found out. It was a very painful and horrible ordeal. I had disappointed my parents terribly. I hated disappointing my parents. It was painful for my sister, and I had caused that. I finally told the truth and was grounded for a week. I had to sit inside while my family was out raking and jumping in leaves. I love fall. Jumping in leaves was my favorite. But I learned. Lying is not acceptable. That experience shaped me.

There was the pain of losing 2 of my friends in the same year. That year happened to be when I was in 6th grade. Even though my grandfather had died when I was 8, this was really my first experience of loss and death. It shaped me.

From 4th to 6th grade I had very few, almost no friends. I was alone during most recesses. I sat and ate alone. I was teased. The few friends I had were mean to me. When I entered middle school I found true friends. Friends that valued and loved me. The way I pick and choose friends was shaped by that experience.

There were plenty of painful experiences in high school as well: abusive boyfriend, the beginning of an eating disorder, 9/11. Things that shaped me.

In college I developed fibromyalgia. Constant physical pain. That started me down a path to self-kindness. Oh this path took years (and I wouldn't say I'm "there" yet), but the pain started it all. I was running myself into the ground. I couldn't physically do everything I was trying to do. I started learning to pace myself, to say no, to set up boundaries, and to be kind to myself.

The pain of my disordered eating finally caught up to me as well. Resulting in this blog. It has changed the way I eat today. It has helped me to be healthier (in the end). It has shaped my attitude towards food and my body. No longer in a negative way. I got fed up with that. I was tired of the pain. So I made a change.

Then there was the day all the pain medications failed 3 times. I was in labor for 2 days. That was real, physical, intense pain. But now I watch as my beautiful little boy runs around the house and tells me to, "Mon" (come on) when he wants to show me something. Lots of physical pain to get him here. But now that he's here I have the most joy I've had my entire life.

So when I say, on this eve of Thanksgiving, that I'm thankful for pain I hope you can see why. I can't say that my burning shoulder is teaching me any profound lesson tonight (other than I should have taken more breaks yesterday), but I do know that some of the hardest fought and most precious lessons I have learned in this life have come as a result of pain. Letting ourselves feel our pain is a beautiful, difficult, sometimes horrifying, thing. But if we allow it to teach us it can shape our lives. We choose how to react to the pain and how to let it change us. The first step is feeling it.

*This post is part of November’s Self-Discovery, Word by Word series, hosted by Shannon over at Nourishing the Soul. If you want to participate check it out.

The Only Skill You Need: Forgiveness

Originally posted October 28, 2011

Are you one of those people who reads a blog about eating healthy and think, "That's easy for you, but for me in my real life that's just not practical?" Because I am. And I write a blog about better health. I hope that doesn't make me lose credibility in your eyes, but the truth is, this doesn't come naturally. I'm not someone who has always hated desserts anyway and wanted to be health (like my sister). No, I love me a big old chocolate bar. Every day if I could. Every meal if I could for that matter. French fries and other deep fried goodness? Why yes, please pass it my way. I love the taste of these foods. I also love eating out. It's so easy. I don't enjoy cooking all that much most of the time. I do enjoy baking desserts and then consuming them. I hate cleaning up after kitchen adventures. I admit to being an emotional eater. I eat when I'm bored too. No, eating a whole foods diet that is mainly homemade was never something I saw myself doing.

Sometimes when I read blogs with people and families who have given up processed food I'm a little down on myself. Why can't I be better?  The truth is I love the way I feel when I'm eating well all the time. I hate the way I feel when I eat processed food. Which is motivating, but then there are days like every day since I got pregnant. Days where you say I-just-need-to-eat-and-it-needs-to-be-fast-and-tasty-freezer-section-here-I-come. Days where you simply don't care. Days where you don't have time to care. Then I read those blogs and I think well all you perfect people leave me alone. Normal people are like me, not you.

But here is what I've learned: Forgiveness is key. Now I've written about this before, but the longer I strive to be healthy, live well, and eat good things the more I believe that the only skill we really need to master in order to move forward is the skill of forgiveness. As usual, let's paint a picture:

So you've decided you want to eat better. You're giving up processed foods. You feel a big difference and you love it. But then you have a bad day and decide that what you need is a day of eating junk. And you go for it. There are a few different things that could happen at this point:

1. You feel horrible that night and beat yourself up about it.
2. You feel fine, but the guilt of eating junk all day is killing you. How could you be so stupid and weak?
3. You feel fine and decide that eating healthy is over rated. Maybe you keep eating horrible for a few weeks and then it catches up with you, but the guilt is too strong. If you couldn't do it right the first time what makes you think you could ever eat a healthy diet?

There are maybe other consequences, but let's just go with this for now, you get the idea right? What I am submitting to you is that all of these things are a recipe for failure. Instead in any of these situations what we need to learn to do is observe how we feel. Realize that we aren't happy when we eat poorly, overeat, or otherwise derail out health. Then we forgive ourselves and move on. Forgive and start fresh. If you can't forgive you can't move on and the truth is, you will never be able to live a healthier lifestyle.

Everyone makes mistakes. I know I do. Dwelling on them or feeling like we can't move on because we've screwed up our "perfect" record is not healthy. It does nothing for us. In fact, perhaps it is time to change the thinking all together. You didn't screw up because you weren't healthy today, no, there are no screw ups. Rather, tomorrow you aren't going to eat junk because you like it better. Beating ourselves up does nothing but hold us back.

So to all those of you who, like me, may never have a perfectly "healthy" diet please know that's okay. What we do most of the time is so much more important than the occasional McDonald's hamburger. Let go of the idea that you've been "bad," and learn to move on to a new day.

The Challenge with Avoiding Fat Talk

Originally posted October 18, 2011

I know, two posts in a row. What is going on? I don't know either. The creative juices are flowing again or something. Anyway, I wanted to talk briefly about avoiding Fat Talk because, let's face it, it's not always as easy as we would like. Let's paint a picture:

You have decided to stop fat talking. You know that it creates negative energy in your life. It damages the way the children around you see themselves. You no longer want it. It's been two days and you are doing great. Then you go out for lunch with your girl friends. The menus come out and guess where the talk goes? Straight to calories, diets, and other talk concerning weight. Inevitably someone says something negative and the whole group joins in. What do you do? Do you join in? If you don't you're weird. You don't want to insult your friends, but you also want no part of this talk. How do you deal with this situation?

Well, I don' t have all the answers. In fact I have very few answers, but I do have a little life experience here. I thought since this week is the week to stop fat talk that it would be a good place to let you all in on a few techniques that have worked for me.

1. Avoid the subject at all costs. This is easier in small groups, but whenever possible I just steer the conversation away from anything having to do with body bashing and fat talk. If I think the conversation is heading in that direction I generally try to insert some comments on living a healthier lifestyle. Sometimes that means talking about yummy food that is healthy and amazing. Sometimes that means telling people why I don't engage in fat talk anymore. I find that many people are receptive to the idea of talking about better health, and if you are careful it can be a very loving conversation without the bashing.

2. Get your friends on board with you. This doesn't always work. It is important not to interrupt a body bashing session to preach about how good you are to never do it again. That just doesn't come off well in my experience. Rather, when the moment is correct I tell people about what I have researched and now believe. I try to be kind and loving to all view points. A large number of people I love are currently on a diet that I do not agree with. It's not something I would do, and I have expressed as much. But it has not stopped us from sharing. They are comfortable telling me about their diet, and I am comfortable telling them my feelings toward food and body image. It is all done out of love. We all approach health differently. Our choices concerning health are incredibly personal. They come through much experience, research, doctors' opinions, and other such life circumstances. Even if we think we are right we should be wary of telling others they are wrong. Share your opinions in love and leave it at that. Those you like what you say will join in. Others won't. Those who don't will generally respect your perspective in the future. Thus the fat talk can stop.

3. Change the subject. Have you ever picked up a friend and had her tell you how such and such makes her look fat? The natural response is to soothe her feelings by telling her that she looks great compared to you. Right? I know many of us have been there. Rather than putting yourself down to elevate your friend tell her she looks amazing and move on. If she persists in feeling down about whatever it is point out all of her great qualities making sure to include things that are both visible on the outside and those that aren't. She'll get the pick-me-up she needs, and you can keep your own integrity.

4. Don't participate or put a positive spin on it. There have been times where I have found that I have no power to change the subject, interject a contrary opinion, or otherwise influence the drift of the conversation. In those cases I generally just sit quietly until the conversation moves on to something I can get behind. It's not my favorite, but sometimes there is just no other way. If asked for an opinion I usually put in a little comment about how I feel that negative thoughts do not create positive change and then shut up again. It's my mini protest.

Now don't get me wrong, my record is certainly not 100% since I have started to avoid fat talk. There have been plenty of slip ups. There have been days I just didn't care and wanted to be negative. There have been days that I just wasn't really thinking and got sucked into the talk. It happens to all of us. But the key is to move on and forgive. When I realize I have been negative I notice how it makes me feel worse. Then I forgive myself for my weakness and commit to try harder in the future. Getting down on yourself is maybe the worst thing you can do in your quest to become Fat Talk Free. Take it one day at a time, and remember the key is to be loving to yourself and others.

What are other things that have worked for you? How do you avoid fat talk?

Body Lovin' the Third Week of October

Originally posted October 17, 2011

There are a lot of exciting things going on this week in the body lovin' world. I thought I'd share a couple real fast so you'd be sure not to miss out.

October 19th (this Wednesday) is Love Your Body Day. What exactly is this day all about? Well, from the site here is a quick summary:

"Hollywood and the fashion, cosmetics and diet industries work hard to make each of us believe that our bodies are unacceptable and need constant improvement. Print ads and television commercials reduce us to body parts -- lips, legs, breasts -- airbrushed and touched up to meet impossible standards. TV shows tell women and teenage girls that cosmetic surgery is good for self-esteem. Is it any wonder that 80% of U.S. women are dissatisfied with their appearance?

Women and girls spend billions of dollars every year on cosmetics, fashion, magazines and diet aids. These industries can't use negative images to sell their products without our assistance.

Together, we can fight back."

This is something I can get behind. I don' t know about you, but there are times I just want to be told that I'm okay just the way I am. As part of this day Rosie Molinary has written a Body Warrior Pledge. I'm really excited about the pledge. It's beautiful. So I went over signed up (which automatically entered me into an awesome giveaway), and I encourage all of you to check it out.

This body pledge was a wake up call for me. Since I got pregnant I have been obsessing about my weight and body. It's been very hard around here to keep a healthy perspective. I have found myself getting lazy, beating myself up, and eating poorly because "who-cares-I'm-going-to-get-fat-and-feel-like-crap-anyway" syndrome has been easing into my life. But I'll tell you more about that another day. The bottom line is that I needed a reminder of what I really believe and want to foster in my life.

The other cool thing about this week (and something I certainly needed to recommit to) is that this week is Fat Talk Free Week. Don't ask me who comes up with all this stuff, but I'm sure glad they did. Now, if you need a reminder of how I feel about Fat Talk you can read this post. I truly believe that nothing will change until we stop body bashing ourselves and others just to fit in. So, I have pledged to end fat talk and hope you will do the same by clicking on over here.

Let's make this week a positive week. Life is too busy and stressful to be adding body shame to our daily lives. Get rid of it!

Celebrate movement and beauty

Originally posted September 12, 2011

I took my morning constitutional today. What a beautiful day. September has given way to cooler temperatures. I no longer start sweating the second I step out my front door. What a relief. It rained last night and everything smelled fresh. Some of the leaves are beginning to turn. It makes me so happy. I love fall. Gardens are being harvested, flowers are still out in full beauty, and everything just seems calmer while we wait for nature to move forward. I had the majestic mountains that I love so much to one side of me, and a gorgeous view of the valley and the lake beyond on the other. Life was good. Above us some very loud birds caught our attention as they soared through the air. Cormac leaned clear back in his stroller, looked up, and whispered under his breath "wow." I couldn't agree more. Wow.

But I wasn't just enjoying nature this morning. I was enjoying the feel of the pavement and dirt roads beneath my feet. I love to walk. It makes me happy. I love looking at the scenery. I love seeing new neighborhoods. I love, love, love looking at the houses that surround me. I walked 3.5 to 4 miles today. How blessed I am that I can do that. I'm on Cloud 9 already because I felt this little baby move for the first time yesterday. How incredible, not only can my body walk and move, but I'm blessed to have a little person growing inside of me. What is there not to rejoice about?

Let's switch gears for just a second. Don't worry, I'll bring us full circle. Did you know that this month is National Yoga Month! (Who makes this stuff up? Do you know? I sure don't, but I'm going with it anyway.) As a fan of yoga I am naturally excited about it. Let me tell you a bit about me and yoga. I came to yoga out of desperation. My body was in constant, unexplained pain and I had heard yoga could help. So I got a DVD and gave it a shot. It was so very hard. I couldn't reach my toes. Downward Dog was the hardest thing I had ever done. I couldn't hold it for more than a few short breaths. But after each practice my pain would ease up and I would have a few minutes of beautiful relief. So I kept at it. I was amazed that within just a couple of short weeks I could touch my toes with ease. Downward Dog took more time to feel comfortable (and is still a challenging pose for me thanks to my weak and inflexible shoulders). But what was exciting was what I could do. And how fast my body adapted to yoga. It was like we were made for each other. My body wanted yoga, craved it, and responded well when I would practice. It was love.

It makes me sad when I hear people say they can't do yoga because they aren't this, that, or the other. They are missing the point. Yoga has never been about what you can't do. Yoga is a celebration of what the body can do. So maybe you can't turn yourself into a pretzel, but you can do a beautiful headstand. There are so many possibilities with yoga. And your body changes with each practice. With each practice you can do a little more. Your body wants it. And it's a beautiful and amazing thing to celebrate the things that our bodies can do.

As I was walking this morning I was thinking about how boring the world would be if it were all mountains or all plains. But it isn't. It is diverse and beautiful. And it should be celebrated. The Earth i s a gift that we've been given from God. It should be celebrated. But how much more should we be celebrating our bodies. They are different, diverse, and oh so beautiful. They are gifts from God. Special gifts that He constructed just for us. Each is unique. Each has its own abilities. And each is beautiful and needed.

So celebrate that beautiful body this month. Move in a way that makes you feel fantastic. Try some yoga and this time don't you dare look at your neighbor or the person on your screen to compare what you look like with them. No. Instead acknowledge the greatness that is your own body and movements. You are beautiful. Take a few minutes to celebrate that.

Forever Fabulous

Originally published June 24, 2011

I bought a new shirt this week. I loved the way it made me feel in the dressing room. I love the style of the shirt. I love the material. As I stood there in the dressing room I felt cute. Maybe even a little sleek. In a word I felt fabulous. I bought it.

Later I was wearing this same shirt and caught a glimpse of myself in some full length doors, and it happened. I had a bit of a panic when I saw that maybe this shirt wasn't the most flattering for my specific body type. A little self-doubt crept in. Maybe I had no business wearing such a shirt.

As I thought about it later I decided that I was being ridiculous. Didn't the shirt make me feel fabulous? Then if I felt fabulous in the shirt I must be fabulous. Think about it. If you see someone wearing something that obviously makes them feel good don't you think they exude confidence? I think they do. They do, indeed, look amazing. Their self-confidence is evident, and beautiful.

We do this a lot. At least I do. I can wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and think, "not bad," or even, "looking good." But then instead of  letting myself feel fantastic I go jump on my scale. What could have been a wonderful day where I felt great about myself gets destroyed by my needing some outside validation. And here's the thing, the numbers on the scale are actually getting smaller, but it is very slow and sustained (you know, the healthy way to lose weight), but because the scale doesn't show a significant drop off I start to feel down. And frankly it can be triggering for me. As soon as I step on the scale I start wondering if I should indeed go on another diet. Maybe the newest fad would work for me. Or maybe I should start working out long hours during the day.

By the end of the day I have usually talked myself out of these things with the realization that I am so much happier when I eat intuitively. I feel good about myself when I move my body in ways that I enjoy; rather than punishing myself on a treadmill. No, it's not worth it. But I sometimes waste a whole day reminding myself.

So I have made a decision (I think). I think it's time to throw the scale out. I mean all the way out. I want to do it. But I'm still a little chicken. Then I remember that the next time my husband pays me a compliment I want to just feel great for the day. I don't want to use it as an excuse to step on the scale just to see if what he says is reflected in numbers. Yes, I think it's time for the scale to go. And I think it's time for me to only wear what makes me feel great as opposed to what I'm "supposed" to wear for my body type. Because there is no reason I can't feel fabulous every single day. You on board?

It takes guts to be your kind of awesome

Originally posted June 16, 2011

The first time I went skydiving I felt brave. At least that's what I told myself. I told myself I had guts. I was a brave gal. What I was really feeling was peer pressure and a whole lot of freak-out. But when you are strapped to someone larger than you who is headed for the door you kind of just go with it. When I landed I was elated. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

But bravery? Maybe not.

When I think of the word "bravery," I picture war heroes, cancer patients, and firefighters. But then there is another group: people who are unapologetically themselves. Now that, friends, takes guts. It takes insane amounts of courage to be exactly who you are. Think about this with me for a minute.

1. These authentic beings do not let the fads of culture sway them.
2. They do not allow peer pressure to make them do crazy things (like jump out of planes, unless they really want to), or be anything other than what they are.
3. These folks have tried new things. How else could they find where their true passion lies.
4. Authentic individuals do not apologize for who they are.
5. Even when faced with loneliness or being alone these people cannot betray who and what they are.

All of these things take incredible courage. It's hard to let the opinions of others roll off our backs. It is hard to look in the mirror and be fine with what is there. Especially when the world may argue that the way we look is wrong. It's hard not to make excuses for being different. It's hard to just be you without justification. It is so hard to think that being you could alienate you from some. And it takes a lot of courage.

And then there's that whole trying new things bit. If you've always been marginally interested in karate, but never attended a class assuming it's not really for "your type" you are cheating yourself. You are taking away a chance to discover something that could light up your life and make your heart sing. But holy cow it's hard to walk through that door.

Trial and error is one of the great gifts of this life though. When we try new things we may fail. We may despise our karate class, or we may find a new true love. But until you master your fears and find the courage you need to step forward you may never actually meet the awesome person that you are.

Let's just say it like it is: It takes one brave person to be unapologetically themselves. I like those people. Here's hoping I find the courage to become one.

This post was written as part of the Self Discovery, Word by Word series. This month's marvelous hostess is Dr. Udall-Weiner from The Body and the Brood. Check out her post on the word of her choosing, "Bravery" here. Want to participate? Click here for details.

Real power in responsibility

It seems to me that as a people we are no longer able to take responsibility for our own actions. If we are heavy then it must be the fault of fast food chains. If we are poor than it is a result of the government. If we have any kind of "issue" then it must be because of our parents.

How sad.

There is real power in taking responsibility upon ourselves. Now, don't get me wrong, in some cases it is true that others can cause our misery, but if we are truly honest with ourselves we would realize that we are extremely quick to place blame somewhere other than ourselves when sometimes it isn't really fair.

A few weeks ago, Dr. Solomon over at Nourishing the Soul wrote about the idea of making parents instrumental in the healing of eating disorders. Read this article, it's amazing.

Dr. Solomon points out that having parents help in healing is radical because "our society has readily adopted the notion that parents are the root of all of our problems and thus cannot be the source of our solutions." 

I think it is sad. During the Holidays magazines are riddled with articles about how to "survive your family" over the Holiday. There are so many movies on this theme as well. Really? Are the people that gave us birth, raised us, and loved us unconditionally even when we were teenagers really that bad? I would argue that with rare exception our parents have only ever wanted the best for us. They want us to be happy, successful, and healthy.

In the world of eating disorders new research is showing that parents largest contribution to the development with one is actually genetic. Which is something that frankly can't be helped.

Here's the thing folks, parents aren't perfect. But neither are you. And you won't be a perfect parent either. I certainly hope my own son is not as quick to blame his parents for any problems he encounters as many of the people I know. I know I'll never be a perfect mother, I know that I'll make plenty of mistakes, but I also know that no one could ever love my son the way I do. No one wants the best for him more than I do.

And I know the same is true of my parents for me and my siblings. My problems in life are not the fault of my parents, though they (like me) are not perfect.

In my own life I have tried hard to realize that perhaps no one is to blame. Maybe things are just how they are. Maybe my genetic makeup is such that I had low self-esteem growing up. I know it is certainly my own fault that I gained weight after the birth of my son. You should have seen the way I was eating. Blaming others, especially my parents, does nothing to help the situation. It keeps me from moving on and addressing the problem. And it could drive a wedge between me and those I blame. No, if we desire change and acceptance we need to stop placing blame and simply move on.

It can be scary to not place blame. It makes us vulnerable and at fault. But our vulnerability is also where we can learn to get to know ourselves better. Stop blaming and allow those who truly know and love you to be there for you. Because there is real power in taking responsibility upon ourselves.

I'm Blogging Elsewhere Today

I'm a guest over at The Closet Narcissists today. Please click over to check it out. You'll love the fun things on their site and I hope you'll even like today's post. Below you'll find a little teaser.

Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want. 

~Sue Bender

I have been on a journey to figure out who I truly am. Not only that, but to like that person. I'm a people liker. I get along with all types of people. I always have. Yet I have struggled for years to grant that same acceptance to myself. I have struggled to make myself into something I am not. For example:

This is a picture of my dear friend Lizzy (in white) and myself a few years ago. We were in Germany. We had Eurorail passes with a couple of other girls. We were all just 20, touring Europe, and having the time of our lives. Notice the way I am dressed. Notice the way Lizzy is dressed. I borrowed a long sleeve shirt from her and tied it around my waist, just like her. I also turned up my jeans, just the way Lizzy did. To give myself some credit, it was sometimes cold and having a long sleeve shirt to throw on at all times was nice, but this was not my style. I was only dressed like this because I desperately wanted to be Lizzy. I adore Lizzy. I always have. But learning that I don't have to be Lizzy, well that has been a different matter altogether.

Continue reading.