The Most Amazing Machine

Originally posted January 18, 2011

Everything is harder right now.

It's harder to sleep all night. But it's also harder to get up in the morning. It's harder to prepare meals and take care of my toddler. It's harder to walk and bend. It's harder to blog. It's harder to put together a logical sentence. Everything just seems hard. I'm less than 5 weeks from my due date and everything is harder. I have so many things I desperately want to get done before #2 arrives, but as you may have heard me mention lately, everything is harder. Things just don't get done like they used to. I struggle to motivate myself to do the dishes, let alone paint the baby's dresser.

This state of affairs has brought me to tears of frustration a time or two (hormones don't help). I am so tired, but I have so much I want to do. There have been days where I have been so exhausted I didn't get a thing done, but that fact frustrates me. I want to be productive before everything changes again.

One day as I was feeling very "woe is me" over this state of affairs I had the opportunity to teach yoga that evening. So after an only somewhat productive day I taught a bunch of 14 to 15 year old girls yoga. They loved the class (which was really good for my pregnant self-esteem). They all gasped when I did a head stand. They all marveled that I can still do a push up. And they all got something positive out of the class for themselves. Or at least they told me they did.

That night as I was thinking about my situation I realized something: I need to chill. This body of mine is creating life! My body is working around the clock to grow another human being. And on top of that I take care of a toddler all day. So really, even on my days that I feel less than productive, things aren't really all that bad. I mean, my son gets fed and gets love. My baby is still growing and moving. Things are okay.

Then I started to ponder on the miracle the human body is. Not just a human body that happens to be growing someone else at the moment, although that is miraculous, but the human body in general. Think about it. Every moment your body is sustaining life. Your heart beats and pumps your blood. Your digestive system nourishes your body. Your nerves keep you from burning your hand on the stove. And you did nothing to make this happen.

When my son is starting to get sick he doesn't eat as well (not that he's a great eater generally, but it gets worse when he's coming down with something). He is generally not showing any other signs yet. But within a day or so he usually develops other symptoms that let me know he's sick. Isn't it amazing that his appetite automatically adjusts? His body has to deal with other things, like getting him healthy. So it shifts into that mode automatically.

Our bodies want us to be healthy and well. They work around the clock to keep us that way. Since having this revelation I have been trying to listen more carefully to my body. This usually means more breaks during the middle of a project than I had wanted to take, but it also means less pain at night from working too hard. I have been feeling a deeper appreciation for all that my body does. It really is an amazing thing. I mean, I am nearly 9 months pregnant and I can indeed do a push up (not that I really want to). But more than that, while all this development goes on inside me my body is also keeping me healthy and strong. My body is also allowing me to take care of my family even if we do have waffles for dinner far more often than we should. This body is amazing.

Yours is too. Even when things aren't going exactly how you want with your body. Even then your body is amazing. The only thing your body wants for you is health. So maybe we should try to remember that next time we are down with the flu. No it's not fun, but your body will be the one fighting the hardest to right things. Give your body credit for all the amazing things it DOES do. And maybe try a little more kindness towards it. It works around the clock for you after all.

Resolutely against Resolutions

Originally posted January 2, 2012

Well dear friends, welcome to 2012. It is still a little crazy to me. This year holds a lot of unknowns for me and my little family. Good unknowns, but unknowns non-the-less. I'm a planner. I struggle with not having a plan. But for some reason I am at peace with it this year. I know that whatever 2012 brings I'll get through it. I will have my family and friends. And that, my friends, is more than enough.

As the end of the year approached I started thinking about New Year's Resolutions. I'm sure the rest of you had those moments too. I have a problem with Resolutions though. Because let's be honest, the ones you hear the most about involve weight loss. I'm so sick and tired of everyone talking about the penance that they have to do come the new year for their bad behavior over the holidays. So much money is wasted on gym membership, special diet equipment, and other such hyped up stuff. All of these things are supposed to provide the magic bullet that will bring a thin physique and of course happiness. By the end of the year everyone is trying to get rid of the product they wasted so much money on via yard sale and then it all starts again.

Every time you go to the store all of the magazines in the checkout isle talk about your resolution to lose weight (because of course we are all resolved to do that, it is the universal resolution that brings mankind together. . . right?). All of the ads talk about losing weight. People post about it on Facebook and Twitter. From every single angle you get bombarded with the same idea: Resolve to lose weight now!

And I'm sick of it. So I had resolved not to resolve this year. To be honest all this diet talk can be a bit triggering for me. I've been doing my best to avoid any and all of it. I also feel that waiting until the New Year to start on something you've always wanted to start on is a little silly. Why not just start when you realize you have a goal?

But as I started thinking about 2012 I felt a little softened. Deciding to wait until the New Year may be silly, but honestly, who has time to start something new right in December. And there is something beautiful, refreshing, and hopeful about a new year. So maybe it's not that silly. But I'm still not resolving to lose weight (actually it is my goal to keep gaining for about 7 weeks, but that's a different deal).

So what do I want to accomplish in 2012? A lot. To be honest I have a lot of hopes, goals, and dreams for the year, but they aren't really worthy of being called a "resolution." I decided that this year I wanted to set just one resolution. Just one goal that would be challenging, but extremely achievable. Something that makes me happy and inspires me to improve my life in other areas. And yes, it has a everything to do with living a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.

In 2012 I am going to do a bit of yoga every. single. day.

Now, you are all aware that I'm going to have a baby in about 2 months. So I can tell you there will be days when I won't even get on my mat. I'm sure of that. But taking time to meditate, breathe, and carve out just a few minutes for myself each day is something that I need and want.

I'll be writing some about my experience here. That will help me stay on target. So here we are, January 2nd. I've done yoga 2 days in a row and am excited for the rest of the year.

Did you make resolutions this year? How do you feel about resolutions in general?

The Person I Am: Shaped by Pain

Originally posted November 23, 2011

It is 4:00 am. I want to be asleep. My body is physically worn out thanks to the demands of a busy day and the fact that I'm now 5 days away from my third trimester. But alas I cannot sleep. I finally got out of a restless bed to do something more productive, but relaxing. Writing is relaxing for me. My nights are getting a bit harder in general. It's not easy to get comfortable when you can't lay on your back or stomach and you have a basketball for a belly. A basketball that kicks. Tonight was different though. My shoulder is burning. I get this horrible, burning, aching pain in my shoulders and upper back. It's my body's way of letting me know I overdid it. I guess all the cleaning, baking, laundry, dishes, and toddler chasing from yesterday were a bit much. The pain is always the first thing to remind me that pushing myself too hard has consequences.

I shun pain as much as the rest of the world. I don't like to hurt. Not physically, mentally, or emotionally. Especially the later two. But in all reality, I am thankful for pain. I truly am. It may seem strange, but I can honestly say that without pain I wouldn't be the person I am today.

When I was young, probably about 7, I broke the blinds in my brother's room. When confronted about it I lied and said my sister did it. She denied it. We were both punished until the truth was found out. It was a very painful and horrible ordeal. I had disappointed my parents terribly. I hated disappointing my parents. It was painful for my sister, and I had caused that. I finally told the truth and was grounded for a week. I had to sit inside while my family was out raking and jumping in leaves. I love fall. Jumping in leaves was my favorite. But I learned. Lying is not acceptable. That experience shaped me.

There was the pain of losing 2 of my friends in the same year. That year happened to be when I was in 6th grade. Even though my grandfather had died when I was 8, this was really my first experience of loss and death. It shaped me.

From 4th to 6th grade I had very few, almost no friends. I was alone during most recesses. I sat and ate alone. I was teased. The few friends I had were mean to me. When I entered middle school I found true friends. Friends that valued and loved me. The way I pick and choose friends was shaped by that experience.

There were plenty of painful experiences in high school as well: abusive boyfriend, the beginning of an eating disorder, 9/11. Things that shaped me.

In college I developed fibromyalgia. Constant physical pain. That started me down a path to self-kindness. Oh this path took years (and I wouldn't say I'm "there" yet), but the pain started it all. I was running myself into the ground. I couldn't physically do everything I was trying to do. I started learning to pace myself, to say no, to set up boundaries, and to be kind to myself.

The pain of my disordered eating finally caught up to me as well. Resulting in this blog. It has changed the way I eat today. It has helped me to be healthier (in the end). It has shaped my attitude towards food and my body. No longer in a negative way. I got fed up with that. I was tired of the pain. So I made a change.

Then there was the day all the pain medications failed 3 times. I was in labor for 2 days. That was real, physical, intense pain. But now I watch as my beautiful little boy runs around the house and tells me to, "Mon" (come on) when he wants to show me something. Lots of physical pain to get him here. But now that he's here I have the most joy I've had my entire life.

So when I say, on this eve of Thanksgiving, that I'm thankful for pain I hope you can see why. I can't say that my burning shoulder is teaching me any profound lesson tonight (other than I should have taken more breaks yesterday), but I do know that some of the hardest fought and most precious lessons I have learned in this life have come as a result of pain. Letting ourselves feel our pain is a beautiful, difficult, sometimes horrifying, thing. But if we allow it to teach us it can shape our lives. We choose how to react to the pain and how to let it change us. The first step is feeling it.

*This post is part of November’s Self-Discovery, Word by Word series, hosted by Shannon over at Nourishing the Soul. If you want to participate check it out.

Body Lovin' the Third Week of October

Originally posted October 17, 2011

There are a lot of exciting things going on this week in the body lovin' world. I thought I'd share a couple real fast so you'd be sure not to miss out.

October 19th (this Wednesday) is Love Your Body Day. What exactly is this day all about? Well, from the site here is a quick summary:

"Hollywood and the fashion, cosmetics and diet industries work hard to make each of us believe that our bodies are unacceptable and need constant improvement. Print ads and television commercials reduce us to body parts -- lips, legs, breasts -- airbrushed and touched up to meet impossible standards. TV shows tell women and teenage girls that cosmetic surgery is good for self-esteem. Is it any wonder that 80% of U.S. women are dissatisfied with their appearance?

Women and girls spend billions of dollars every year on cosmetics, fashion, magazines and diet aids. These industries can't use negative images to sell their products without our assistance.

Together, we can fight back."

This is something I can get behind. I don' t know about you, but there are times I just want to be told that I'm okay just the way I am. As part of this day Rosie Molinary has written a Body Warrior Pledge. I'm really excited about the pledge. It's beautiful. So I went over signed up (which automatically entered me into an awesome giveaway), and I encourage all of you to check it out.

This body pledge was a wake up call for me. Since I got pregnant I have been obsessing about my weight and body. It's been very hard around here to keep a healthy perspective. I have found myself getting lazy, beating myself up, and eating poorly because "who-cares-I'm-going-to-get-fat-and-feel-like-crap-anyway" syndrome has been easing into my life. But I'll tell you more about that another day. The bottom line is that I needed a reminder of what I really believe and want to foster in my life.

The other cool thing about this week (and something I certainly needed to recommit to) is that this week is Fat Talk Free Week. Don't ask me who comes up with all this stuff, but I'm sure glad they did. Now, if you need a reminder of how I feel about Fat Talk you can read this post. I truly believe that nothing will change until we stop body bashing ourselves and others just to fit in. So, I have pledged to end fat talk and hope you will do the same by clicking on over here.

Let's make this week a positive week. Life is too busy and stressful to be adding body shame to our daily lives. Get rid of it!

Guest Blogger: Confident, beautiful, strong mama

I'm so excited to introduce you to the wonderful Jenarcissist from The Closet Narcissist. She has graciously agreed to write something for my readers today. I hope you enjoy this post, and take the time to check out The Closet Narcissist, you'll be glad you did.


Hi there, LITM readers. My name (okay, my online alter-ego, emphasis on the "ego" *wink*) is Jenarcissist. I'm one-half of the duo that runs the closet narcissist, a blog, online shop, and web site based all around celebrating self-love and building confidence - and having fun doing it. I was so excited when Melanee approached me to swap guest posts with her. We've been following each other's blogs for a while now, and I always get something special out of reading her posts. Her journey towards her own self-acceptance is so inspiring because she's so raw and personal. It's literally exhilarating to me seeing where she was before and where she is now.

So today's the day when I make a rather big announcement on our blog that I am with child. :) That's right, I am 11 weeks pregnant! I've been waiting on this my whole entire life. Because I've always wanted to be a mom so bad and have always thought there is no more beautiful and radiant woman than a pregnant one, I always assumed pregnancy would be blissful. I had this idealized vision of loving my ever-expanding body while I happily awaited my bundle of joy, totally care-free. I was going to sail through pregnancy with a constant glow and never feel big, only pregnant. What a dolt I was! ;) I thought this guest post would be a good opportunity to talk about my adjusting to this new body and new life.

As excited as I am between bouts of puking, pregnancy has brought about a lot of unexpected things for me. I never in a million years expected to have any sort of body image issues when I was pregnant, but I've struggled with some (and may yet as my hormones keep surging). My relationship with food has changed from enjoying the sheer pleasure of food to feeling like it's a chore because my little one is very demanding and wants me to eat all the time and doesn't care if I'm sick or not. I smell things that I know are not real, which is really bizarre (rubbing alcohol, stinky feet, and blood to be exact...great for an already queasy tummy, right?!). I'm facing an exhaustion unlike anything I have ever known; it's like I'm drugged all day and night. I went from a gal who usually wore makeup daily for the sheer love of it and actually gave a crap about my appearance to someone who's just lucky to roll out of bed. I don't know how, but I didn't know pregnancy was THIS uncomfortable! I was completely unprepared for all the changes to my body and emotions.

To all those women who say they didn't start showing til 4 or 5 months, I hate you all!! No, I'm only kidding, of course. :) But I had always heard you didn't really start showing for a quite a while, so imagine my surprise when my belly noticeably popped out at about 6 weeks, a mere week-and-a-half after we found out the good news. Looking at the picture compared to now, I’m like, that’s what I considered "popping out"?! But at the time, it seemed so sudden and strange. I thought I'd be able to wear regular clothes for a while, but even that early, jeans or anything other than something elastic-waisted were out of the question. Nothing felt comfortable. I was extremely bloated, which made me feel bigger than I actually was. When I'd say I felt as big as a house, people would look at me like I was crazy, but it was the feeling inside. Add the fact that I was hiding it from my job until I had my first appointment, and I felt even more self-conscious about my growing bod. I just didn't want people to know yet, and I was worried that my sudden wardrobe change and all my weird pregnancy behaviors were going to give me away before I felt ready to divulge. And one more piece to the pie. I've never had an eating disorder and have a pretty good body-image now (that wasn't always the case). However, a few years ago, I was about 30 pounds heavier than allowed me to feel good health-wise, so I'm guessing at my peak, I'll be back up to that same weight in pregnancy or higher. In a way, that was a discomforting thought because I was scared to go back to how I FELT at that weight (regardless of how I look)...and at the same time, it's comforting because I have been that weight before and know what it's like – although being pregnant is still an entirely different feeling. I had finally gotten to a point where I really was happy with all of me, inside and out. And then I got pregnant! haha 

I had to learn early on that people's tact goes out the window when you're pregnant. People feel free to say whatever they want (particularly about your weight, as well as all their advice), and even when they don't mean anything by it, it can be upsetting when you're exhausted and your hormones are in complete control of you because it's harder to let things roll off. At 6 or 7 weeks, I was already being told that I'm showing too early, getting bigger very quickly, my hips were getting wider, I must be further along than I think, maybe I'm having twins, that’s gonna be a big baby, etc. I know the people behind these comments didn't mean anything by it at all; they're as excited as I am about this baby. But I guess the comments just hit me during the wrong week when I was already extremely emotional and vulnerable. I started wondering if they were right...what if I was gaining weight too quickly and setting myself up for an unhealthy pregnancy? I was worried about that much more than how I looked. (Hint for the next time you encounter a pregnant woman: just tell her she looks amazing and leave it at that, or else you may cause her to obsess unnecessarily!)

Then I decided to do a Google search for pictures of women who were the same amount of weeks along as I was that week...wow, was that liberating!! There were women with all shapes and sizes of bellies. Some of them, like me, already had the pooch. Some didn't. I suddenly realized what I already knew in my non-pregnant life: women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful. That sounds so cliche, but it's absolutely true, and it applies to pregnancy as well. Just seeing other women who were already showing made me feel tons better about my growing belly, as well as talking to a couple of friends who also showed so-called “early” when they were pregnant. I started seeing my body in a whole different light then. Despite the three pairs of pants I could comfortably wear that I was rapidly getting tired of, I started checking out my side view several times a day in the mirror and smiling every time. I had been taking belly pics already just because I knew I'd want them later, but then I started enjoying taking them! I think I'd like to make a flipbook from start to finish where it looks like my belly is getting bigger really fast. :) And after we "went public," I remember very vividly the first day my husband and I went out when I just let it all hang out, with no more need to hide behind a hoodie. MAN, it felt good!! I will never forget that outfit either. It was nothing special - just a cute, tunic-length tee with birds on it and some drawstring, cargo-length cotton pants - but I sure felt like a hot mama flaunting my baby!

A couple other things that helped me were these two blog posts (written by the same fantastic woman, Dr. Dana Udall-Weiner) about pregnancy, weight, fears, and body image:

http://www.nourishing-the-soul.com/2011/02/pregnancy-and-body-image/

http://bodyandbrood.com/2011/02/21/can-you-ever-be-ready-for-motherhood/

I related to her so much. Sometimes, we as women just need to feel validated, knowing that someone, somewhere out there has experienced what we have. And when we don't feel alone in our feelings anymore, suddenly they don't hold as much power over us!

Since that time, I've had my first appointment and was told I've gained the normal amount of weight thus far, I'm eating pretty well in spite of lots of nausea (though, hey, let's face it - sometimes if something sounds good, you just have to go with if you want to eat at all), and I exercise when I can handle it, so I'm not in the least concerned now. But I'm already trying to gear myself up for later on when people feel the need to comment even more as I get bigger and rounder; I know even strangers will want to comment. It also astounds me how people already just walk up and touch my belly without asking! If it's someone I'm close to, it's perfectly fine, but if not, it can feel rather invasive, like someone you don't know suddenly hugging you with no warning, but way more personal.

We won't know for a couple more months if we're having a boy or a girl. But what I do know is that all the work I have done on myself to get me where I am now was never really just for me. There was always the thought of my future child in the back of my mind, spurring me on to become whole within myself so that I could pass this down to my child. Whatever gender my child is, I am vowing to teach her as best I can to love herself just as she is. I know all too well what it's like to struggle with a poor self-image, and while I can't 100% prevent her from ever having any confidence issues, I can do my best to encourage her, never make her feel "less than," accept her as she is - no ifs, ands, or buts - so she can do the same, and inspire her to shine with all she's got. I think that's one of the most important gifts a parent can give to their children. Having a mom who is secure in herself inside and out can go a long way in helping a daughter in particular feel that way about her own self. And if she does have some issues, which she probably will at some point (after all, middle school happens to all of us!), I hope she'll be able to learn from my experiences and be empowered by them. 

Wow, today, I sure do sound like a confident mama...but I have plenty of bouts of sheer terror over trying to raise a little person into a well-rounded individual without screwing them up. :) My own mom passed away a few years ago, which has added plenty of other raw emotions on top of the normal ones. Since her death, I've come to realize just how much she struggled with her own body image and insecurities, yet she always tried so hard to make me feel good about myself. Something she told me has always stuck with me: "If you love your child enough, they'll forgive you just about anything." My mom was scared to death when I was born, and somehow she just learned as she went, and she was right...it's not her mistakes that stick out in my mind...it's her unconditional love and her efforts to help me feel that way about myself too. And that's how I know I'll be fine.

Guest Blogger: Why I Love my Stretch Marks

Melanee's Note: I've never actually met Heather in person. I was introduced to her blog from a mutual friend and have become addicted. One post that she wrote really stuck out to me and I asked her if I could share it with you here. She has graciously said yes. This post speaks so true to me and I think can speak to everyone no matter what your faith is or what you believe in. Enjoy!

Do you remember that part in Gone With the Wind when Scarlet has just had her baby and is upset because Mammy can only get her corset laced up to 21 inches instead of her pre-pregnancy 19 inches ?

Mammy tells her, "Honey child, you done had a baby. You ain't never gun a be 19 inches again."

I think those are some of the wisest words of the entire show and lately they have been circulating through my mind a lot.

My little nursling will be 7 months old soon and my body is still not back to how it was before I was pregnant with her. Even though I've been back to my original weight for a few months (breastfeeding works wonders on my metabolism) my body is still different. I'm sure you wouldn't notice anything by looking at me, but I've lived in my body for a quarter of century and I can tell you that things aren't the same as before-- my hips are wider, my chest is a bit more saggy, my core muscles aren't quite as tight, and I have six purple marks on my side that remind me my belly really can stretch to an unfathomable size.

I just have to keep telling myself, "Heather child, you done had two babies. Your body ain't never gun a be the same again."

It has taken me awhile to come to terms with it, but it is true. No matter how hard I try my body is never going to be the same as it was before I had my children. My children are literally parts of myself and they exist because my body sacrificed blood, cells, calcium, iron, and millions of other particles to make them. I am literally missing pieces of my body that I will never be able to get back because they are now walking, talking, breathing, laughing, crying, and living in the form of two beautiful children. Becoming a mother, even if you don't physically give birth to a child, requires a huge sacrifice from your body and spirit. It is a sacrifice, that according to Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the First Quorum of the Seventy of the LDS church and his wife Marie K. Hafen, greatly parallels the sacrifice made by our Savior, they said:

"Just as a mother's body may be permanently marked with the signs of pregnancy and childbirth, [the Savior] said, 'I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands' (1 Ne. 21:15–16). For both a mother and the Savior, those marks memorialize a wrenching sacrifice--the sacrifice of begetting life--for her, physical birth; for him, spiritual rebirth" ("'Eve Heard All These Things and Was Glad': Grace and Learning by Experience," in Dawn Hall Anderson and Susette Fletcher Green, eds.,Women in the Covenant of Grace: Talks Selected from the 1993 Women's Conference [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1994], p. 29)."

It gives me strength to remember that just as Christ bears marks in his hands, feet, and side as symbols of his blood sacrifice I too have stretch marks on my side that bear testimony to my sacrifice of blood and my willingness to bring life into the world. I find strength to go forward with my mothering by remembering that just as Christ's body was resurrected, making him complete physically and spiritually, that my body is constantly renewing itself and that one day I too will be complete, physically and spiritually. I also know that my joy is more full because of my children and that because of the sacrifice my body has made life will go forward and my family will go on eternally.

So for all the mothers our there I want to remind you to rejoice in your stretch marks, to be grateful for your extra weight and wider hips, to accept your c-section scar, and to find joy in the tired bags under your eyes because they are symbols of your sacrifice.

For all you who have yet to become mothers I want to remind you to rejoice in the blood you shed each month because it is a beautiful symbol of hope and it bears testimony to the promise of continuing life.

And for all you women who are struggling with loving and accepting your body I want to remind you that anything or anyone that belittles, exploits, demeans, or mistrusts your body is not from God. Your body is beautiful, mind boggling amazing, and so deeply symbolic of Christ. Also, remember that in the eternal scheme of things-- frankly my dear, no one will give a damn if you had a 19 inch waist or not. If you are shocked by my swearing, you need to watch the end of Gone with the Wind :)

This guest post is from Heatherlady who blogs at Tales From the Cottage Cheese Cottage and Women in the Scriptures. Heather is currently working on a book with some other LDS women called "The Gift of Giving Life: Rediscovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth" and is looking for LDS women who'd like to share their spiritual experiences about pregnancy, birth, or becoming a mother. If you are interested you can go here to read more about the project.

Amen

I grabbed this article from babycenter.com. All I can add is a loud resounding Amen.

Let’s stop obsessing about our post-pregnancy weight

Posted by Kimberly Seals Allers in Uncategorized | June 3rd, 2010 | Trackback

I gotta admit, I’ve been trying to lose the same last 10 baby pounds for some time now. And my “baby” recently turned six years old! But I really don’t understand those women with three-week-old babies who complain about not being able to squeeze into their skinny jeans yet. Seriously!

Then there are horror stories of women crash-dieting before pregnancy so they start pregnancy at a lower weight. Yikes! What is up with us and our body image issues? And those celebrities! Hollywood would have you believe that you should be back to your pre-pregnancy weight before you are discharged from the hospital!

Don’t believe the hype!

My motto is simple: It took you nine months to gain the weight, you should allow yourself at least that long to lose the weight. The truth is, moms are under a lot of unnecessary pressure to lose baby weight and sometimes they sacrifice nutrition and healthy eating habits along the way. Not good.

In the black community, a little meat on the bones and a little “junk in the trunk” is definitely more acceptable. But black women run the risk of staying at unhealthy weight levels throughout their lives.

As far as I’m concerned, all of this pressure just shows how the pregnancy experience is so undervalued in our country. Our wider hips and fuller waistlines aren’t appreciated as a small byproduct of the amazing experience of being life into the world. Instead, they are viewed as unwelcome reminders of birthing that must be sweated and crunched away immediately.

The messaging is that pregnancy should not be anything more than a 40-week deviation from your normal self, if that. Push out your baby and get back to you!

But I can’t completely blame Hollywood. We often have our own control issues to deal with. As women we try to control every aspect of the pregnancy process, instead of surrendering to enjoying the experience. Get out your white flag and let it wave. As I often said during my pregnancies, “I’m just a passenger on this train.”

Now that doesn’t mean that I sat up at night eating Haagen Dazs ice cream by the tubful for the sake of surrendering to the experience. No, a healthy diet is very important. So are a few less healthy indulgences every now and then.

Let’s just remember that moderation is always a good thing.

We have to educate ourselves about healthy weight gain and loss, and give our babies the best start. That includes eating enough to support breastfeeding and having the right kind of food energy that’s needed to keep up with the demands of caring for an infant.

And let’s take back healthy and reasonable expectations as far as losing baby weight is concerned and leave Hollywood to make their movies. They do call it La-La land for a reason.

Photo:Flickr/Bandita