Monday, April 30, 2012

Trust in your amazing strength

Originally posted November 8, 2011

Trust means I have faith in my ability to survive and thrive.

I've been reading "A Year of Living Your Yoga" by Dr. Judith Hanson Lasater. I recommend it. On August 8th I read the above quote followed by this:
"Living Your Yoga: We want to trust others, but we are afraid they will let us down. Today instead of focusing on trusting others, remember that there is something bigger; trust your ability to be okay even if things are not okay."
I can't get this idea out of my head. I'm in love with it. I suppose at this point I haven't much left to hide on this blog, so I'll tell you honestly that I sometimes struggle with fear of the future, of heartache, and of the unknown. I know it isn't really rational, but I often stress that something horrible is around the corner. I worry about losing my husband in a horrible accident or to sickness. I worry about watching Cormac suffer. I worry about my new little one and having something horrible happen during pregnancy or birth.
There are a lot of wonderful people in my life who have had to deal with horrible heartbreaks. I look at what they have gone through and marvel at how strong they are. I wonder if I'd be able to come out on top the way they seem to have.
Now don't worry, I have never gotten to where this fear has crippled me from doing the things I want to do, but it is still a negative drain on my energy. And I know that there are those out there who are ruled by fears. With that in mind, think about this quote a minute. What a beautiful idea: "trust your ability to be okay even if things are not okay."
The human mind and body is incredibly resilient. No doubt you've dealt with pain and heartache already in your life, and while it may not have been as extreme as losing a loved one it was likely a challenge nonetheless. You adjusted. You made sacrifices and changes, but you made it through. And things were okay. Even in the less than fantastic circumstances.
So I've been trying to change my attitude. Instead of thinking about how on earth will I survive if the worst should happen, I've been working on trusting that I will be okay if that does happen. I'm a strong, confident, resilient woman. And while I hope to coast through life will all my loved ones in great health and no heartache, the truth is, that just isn't very likely. But it's okay because I'll be okay. I have my faith, my family, my friends, and my own stores of strength to pull from.
And you? Do you have resources to help you through a crisis? Do you trust yourself?