Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Just One Thing

The theme for this year's Eating Disorder's Awareness week is, "It's time to talk about it." If you've been reading for a while you probably remember me telling about my own experience with an eating disorder. If not, you can read up on it here. So I guess I feel as though I've already started this conversation. The NEDA wants everyone to "just do one thing" this year. The idea is that if we can all do just one thing to bring awareness about eating disorders amazing strides could be gained.

So I've been wondering what my one thing would be. I wanted to write this post to the people out there who maybe don't fit into a particular category. Meaning they are not specifically anorexic, bulimic, or a compulsive over eater.

During my years of food abuse I had no idea that I had a problem. You can see from the comments some of my high school friends left after that post confessing my disorder that not even those close to me knew about it. My parents had no idea until I was trying to fix it. I suppose I knew somewhat that what I was doing was not good because I hid it from the people around me. I would sneak diet pills and sometimes laxatives. But I "knew" I was okay because what I was doing did not fit into a specific category. I was neither anorexic or bulimic. Therefore I was okay.

When my husband found out about the diet pills and what I had been doing he encouraged me to seek help. I was in college at the time and there were several support groups at the university. But I refused to go.

Why? Because I didn't fit a specific category. More importantly, in my mind, I wasn't thin enough to go. I was at a fairly healthy weight at the time. A weight that I thought was way too big. I knew if I showed my face in a group like that people would look at the size of me and dismiss me. I didn't think they would take me seriously. If I were only thinner. . .

I recounted this fact to a friend once who told me, "That should have been a sign to you that you really did have a problem and needed help." True. But it didn't. So my road to recovery has been incredibly slow. I think I would be light years ahead of where I am today if I had found help. I wish I would have. Recovery is still on going for me.

So where am I going with this? Good question. I guess what I really want to say is that if you have an unhealthy relationship with food; a relationship where you obsess about your weight and meals; you have a problem. You should seek help. Maybe you don't fit into a specific category. That's okay. What you are doing is still unhealthy and can cause incredible damage now and in the future. Please talk to someone.

You don't have to live a life in slavery to what does or does not go in your mouth.

You have the power to change all of that.

And you are so incredibly worth it.

No comments: